Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh, how it shot from his member like a geyser from the earth Covering the room with the bittersweet aroma of piss The drip on the walls, it running down his balls Oh the majestic beauty, splendor precipitating
Florg 0
lol he painted the room yellow, a perfect baby color.
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Comments (151)
lobby0ne 0
How the hell is this FML??
andaroo 0
LMFAO that made my day haha, what a cute kid
fmlfan1985 0
is it gratification disorder?
lemonsaregood 0
thats hilarious
JohnyJackhammer 0
How is this an FML, this is probably the best day your kid's had in his entire life at this point. Good for the little bugger and may he play with his wee for many decades to come
tashi_fml 0
im sorry but i think thats so cute and hilarious....whats so FML about it???
kewl92 0
umm why the hell is this an fml? kids do stuff...
pattysays 0
dayumm.... i wonder what he's gonna be like when he grows up.
drakerd 0
Worst FML of all time. Harden the **** up you imbecile.
DrMorbid 0
You know I'm starting to get kinda tired of all the people using FML to post their funny stories. Why the hell are you using FML? I'm sure there are tons of servers dedicated to cute / funny stories. This just doesn't belong here.