Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
Today, my one year-old took his diaper off and peed on my chest while I was sleeping. FML
Today, my girlfriend and I were changing our newborn son when he peed on her, making me lose it laughing. Less than five seconds later, as I picked him up to clean him off, he did a huge poop, all over my hands, arms, feet, and clothes. Instant Karma. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, while we had my husband's boss over, my 3-year-old son decided to burst into the living room naked and yell, "Mum, look! Penis!" and wiggle it around. FML
Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Today, I came home to find my husband and our 4-year-old son simultaneously peeing off the second-floor balcony. My husband was giggling like a little girl. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I woke up to my lovely 16-month old with her diaper on. When I stood up to retrieve and toss it, I also realized she'd pooped into her hand and thrown a log onto the middle of the floor. FML
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Top comments
allmidnighteyes 11
Oh, how it shot from his member like a geyser from the earth Covering the room with the bittersweet aroma of piss The drip on the walls, it running down his balls Oh the majestic beauty, splendor precipitating
Florg 0
lol he painted the room yellow, a perfect baby color.
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Comments (151)
fogrunner 13
YDI for breeding. :)
GazeboFoppery 0
Just wait till he realizes it's more fun to hit mommy or daddy with said urine. My son's favourites were to shoot it either across the kitchen, or onto the nice, big, fluffy sheep dog.
maddiesonnn 0
haha hes playing wit himself... hes giving himself a handjob fool!
alisha_karin 0
soo cute (: lmao
blooglekoogle 0
omg HILARIOUS
summerhot_fml 2
haha awww you got to admit thats kind of adorable
haniam16 6
shouldve painted the room yellow! or get better diaperds... YDI
kruschev33 0
you sick bitch you don't care about your son and just use a monitor and just listen to him while raving with your friends about cars and shit why not kill a few people because you are clearly helping the human race advance
HurleyCarlton 0
At least it wasn't aimed at you!
ILOVESMOSH16 1
Thats adorable!