Today, I woke up to my daughter crying, and my son running through the living room completely naked with her bottle, laughing his head off. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I went downstairs completely naked to get water, completely forgetting that my daughter had a sleepover and they were in the living room. The ice dispenser woke some of them up, including my daughter. FML
Today, the cops were called to my apartment because my daughter had a temper tantrum while I was at work. She was naked when they were there. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, my son decided to run around a supermarket in his underwear, leaving me to chase after him. FML
Today, I was babysitting my co-worker's son. He was eating Jell-o and spilled it on his top, so I pulled off his PJ's, and went in his room to grab a new pair. I heard a thunk and ran to find him out cold on the floor. His parents walked in on me trying to wake up their naked 3 year-old. FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of my newborn screaming. I frantically hopped out of bed and stumbled into the nursery where I was met by the priceless sight of my five-year-old daughter attempting to breastfeed her understandably frustrated little brother. FML
Today, I was trying to sleep when I saw a head looming from the darkness with no eyes and a mouth open like a silent scream. I just froze and pissed myself. It was my daughter wanting to cuddle with us. Alas, the bed was wet, so she got put back in her bed, while we had to share the sofa downstairs. FML
Today, I awoke in the midst of the night to find my half-naked dad drunkenly arguing with the microwave. FML
Today, at 2:30am, I heard my baby crying on the monitor. As I got out of bed, she stopped crying and started laughing. There's nobody else in the house. FML
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
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Top comments
cocacola999 27
The FML depends on whether the son is 5, 15 or 25...
ELoni_fml 25
And the age of the daughter in a way, if she is 1 or 21. It's not entirely unthinkable the daughter is 21 and the son is 25. If my brother would steal my bottle of vodka I would cry.
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Comments (47)
Katthebamf 29
Streaking starts young!
sweetbliss3 37
they are kids (according to another poster). streaking is what kids are really good at. doesn't mean they will grow up running around naked like an idiot.
8born8 18
Ahhh but come their 18th birthday, bottles and a bare bum dare will have them streaking up a storm.
shessohighh 10
OP never said her son was young.. we're all just hoping D:
cocacola999 27
The FML depends on whether the son is 5, 15 or 25...
christina3466 17
That's what I was thinking.
ELoni_fml 25
And the age of the daughter in a way, if she is 1 or 21. It's not entirely unthinkable the daughter is 21 and the son is 25. If my brother would steal my bottle of vodka I would cry.
sayyestothedress 24
We need a follow up to see if the kids are young or old
DomiLove 26
I moderated this FML, the daughter was a few months old and the son I believe was 2. Her fiancé was suppose to be watching them but she woke up to him sleeping next to her and that.
coming back in the future 30
Your son has bare courage
Aquaman911 18
Smh children gone wild
phoneaddict13 29
what does smh mean? and also lmao?
shay_serendipity 29
.... #31 you're kidding right? Just in case you're not: smh: shaking my head lmao: laughing my ass off
8born8 18
phoneaddict13... for someone with that username, you don't seem to be up to code...
phoneaddict13 29
I know.. I'm so ashamed :'(
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
This thing... it's called Google. Try it! :)
Futacy 30
It's times like this when a kid needs a good 'ole spanking.
PenguinBitch 44
Omg. Stop him before his whole head falls off!
orbit 22
It's sad when you see them turn to the bottle at such a young age
keiNan_fml 35
and reason being
sarah5745 41
How old is your daughter and how old is your son?? This will determine how much of an FML this really is
DomiLove 26
Daughter a few months and son I believe to be 2, her fiancé was suppose to be watching them but slept too.
MidnightWolf3 12
Glad I'm not the only one who saw the original of this FML.
llamarrama01 21
But if anyone else makes her cry, big bro will come to the rescue