Today, I thought it would be a good idea to let my 19-month-old son watch me pee, since I'm trying to potty train him. I didn't consider that he might try to grab my penis. When he did, I was startled and peed all over the floor and my son. Good job dad. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was in a public restroom with my one-year old. I had no idea he could reach the lock until he opened the door and ran out. In my haste to catch him, I not only peed all over my pants that were still around my ankles, I faceplanted on the nasty, moist bathroom floor. FML
Today, my son learned how to use the toilet for the first time. He was so excited he started peeing on the floor. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I found out my husband potty trained my stubborn three year-old son who prefers diapers. He managed this by peeing with him and "sword-fighting" with their urine streams. I now have to clean pee off the ground every time he urinates. FML
Today, my toddler peed in his potty for the first time. He was so excited to show me that he flung the pot in the air dousing my face with his piss. Then he laughed. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, the 3-year-old I nanny wanted to prove to me that he was tall enough to pee standing up in front of the toilet. When he realized he actually was tall enough, he got excited and misdirected his stream, covering himself, his brother, and me in urine. FML
Today, I was desperate to teach my 2-year old to use her potty. I had to pee, and thought maybe she would learn by watching me use it. Everything was going well, until I realized that I had a long pee. So long that it overfilled her potty all over. FML
Today, in an attempt to potty train my step-son, my boyfriend and I put underwear on him, hoping that when he peed himself, he would realize using the potty is the way to go. Instead, he peed while sitting on the couch, got up, took off the underwear, and then switched seats. FML
Today, I've been potty training my son and almost all of his clothes have been peed on, but for some reason I thought it would be a good idea to do all the laundry together. When I was getting it out of the dryer, everything smelled like pee. FML
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Top comments
snippyxD 7
Damn that sucks Dude but Face it.. Its just what kids Do!
SaraJun 5
lmao youre a dad named jasmine?
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Comments (188)
Cloudberry 10
What a slippery situation...
baconstrips 12
Overused joke is overused
fabian21 0
You shouldn't let your son watch you pee, just wait for him to want to be like the other big boys and teach him how to water with the hose.
StoryOfTheYear 15
Would've been prevented if OP had stopped the flow like a boss.
maz255 10
R. Kelly anyone?
enonymous 9
I always knew Jasmine had a penis
leadman1989 16
13 - mother may I C.U.P
RadikulRam 16
This is your typical father and son moment.
ForeverAloneGuy 1
Your son might grow up to be the next Bear Grylls!
kickassnumerouno 0
Lol 18
HetaliaFreak 10
It's a pissy situation....
ledstratdak 0
25- nice pink floyd reference
zendaddy0 0
That must have been hard to explain
EvilCupcake8361 9
64: that was so terrible I winced
snippyxD 7
Damn that sucks Dude but Face it.. Its just what kids Do!
MrBoredGuy 1
Actually, I don't think I ever grabbed penises as a child
XmyviolentheartX 13
I think he meant the curiosity. ????
BradyT918 9
In regards to your profile your 1 day early. HP's B-day is 7/31 same as Jk Rowling.
ShakeMeDown 12
39- No, he meant grabbing penises.
ShyAnn29 15
All kids are curious, I heard a story that when my brother was little my parents caught him peeing on the truck tire, when my dad asked him why, he said "That's what our dog does!"
skullcandifiedDJ 5
he probably thought that milk would come out...
lmfao_shame 9
what kind of boobs were you drinking out of when you were little? :O
Driveshaft 5
I feel your pain, 3x over! LoL, it gets better I swear. FYL, but only for now! ;)
mehblakerawr 0
I don't know I've heard the number of children grabbing penises these days is like... A lot
Rose8u 2
I seriously doubt that I would actually find enough curiosity to grab that......
nick347b 6
Well, he learned a good life lesson from this.
Fruit_Dealer 9
Son : Well one thing was learned, you don't grab another man's phallus.
TaylorMcGown 2
I hope his son hasn't started having memories yet. It would suck to remember grabbing your dads dick when you got older D:
nativepimp 1
Yeah and when he pisses you off in 15 years bring this up!
Alexisthebestest 16
He might be able to remember it. When I was OP's sons age I almost drowned. I can recall falling in and sinking to the bottom before my dad jumped in and grabbed me- so it's very possible his son will remember the time he got pissed on by dad.
TurnpikeTwister 0
We got a squirter!
braddah112233 1
Kids..... Got to luv um
fanaticdragon 10
Spelling..gotta love it!
KMtheDrummer 6
*have to
TurnpikeTwister 0
Tools
beebeeL 1
Hilarity
SaraJun 5
lmao youre a dad named jasmine?
babyqurl 0
Good point
Kaoruchan_fml 0
He might be posting it on his wife's account
alexrussosuxdik 2
**** you!!!!!!!!!
SilentTreatment 7
No means No! Lol... XD
rogo35 0
Boo
HellOnWheels357 11
Chris Hanson would be all over this. he'd find some way to make it perverted so it would make the show... god imagine all the different places he'd make you sit!
m0tl3ycru3 0
Just take a seat right over there
g0bak3acake 0
I love yo pic
CuteDumBlonde64 11
Try explaining this to your partner. XD
FUCKNAMESBREH 0
That's easy... You just tell them :o
CreeperIRL 14
Time to introduce the lil boy to pedobear and the pedopolice