ugh
United States
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
jackpot
Venezuela
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
pauper
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Ally
United States
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Anonymous
Boston, United States
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Anonymous
There goes the neighborhood…
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Brook363
United States
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
jl_word
United States
Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
wellokaythen
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Brampton, Canada
Bad boy
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Anonymous
United States
You OK dude?
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
minimum wage
Canada
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Top comments
garrettcodd 0
the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...
kingnate16 0
did u join him?
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Comments (230)
WordSmyth 2
Tell him to take it to the lawn and there'll be no problems. Free fertilizer.
jessluvezsam 0
Haha!! eww!!
christiandabeast 0
nasty
margie4peace 11
I really don't think OP knows what "relentlessly" means. It's used when one does something over and over again. And no, it can't be used just because there is more than one turd that day. If he did this everyday for weeks on end, THEN it would be relentless ********. When I say that people relentlessly use incorrect words on FML, that's an example of using the word correctly. Hehehe!
Sirin_fml 47
Doesn't it mean constantly, without let-up or cessation from start to finish? I guess it's just redundant here, but the word has the connotation of violence too.
margie4peace 11
yep! thanks! :-). you explained it better than I did.
7mood75 7
GOOD MORNING
slickrasta 1
Hahahahahah
edteach 0
81.... it's appears to be your job to slowly suffocate all humor from the world... your doing great keep it up!
btstig 11
Ha ******* a right.
cetlawizard 15
how does one "relentlessly shit"? as in keeps coming back, or did you mean "violently" ? just asking.
joshuaUNWRITTEN 0
Next Time dont be rude, pass him some toilet paper;)
jenncatherine 0
for some reasonn, the way this is worded makes me smile.