Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my baby brother learned to remove his nappy. He immediately used this new skill to shit all over my room. FML
Today, my 2-year-old son figured out that if he takes his pull-up off and DOESN'T go on the potty, he can pee all over things. FML
Today, I woke up to my 8 month old son happy as can be. I could hear him laughing over the monitor. When I walked into the room, he had somehow got his diaper off and was holding onto his new found penis. He thought it was hysterical when it went off and shot urine everywhere. FML
Today, I actually had to teach my 9-year-old brother how to pour himself a glass of milk, after he burst out in tears when my sister told him to do it himself. His astonishing ignorance also extends to basic hygiene. FML
Today, I finally convinced my son to use the potty. Later, he saw a show on TV about a toilet monster. Now he's too scared to even step foot into the bathroom. Here's to another few months of diaper changes. FML
Today, I woke up to my two year old crawling in bed with me and saying, "I poop". Normally this would be ok, but this morning she decided she didn't need a diaper. FML
Today, I woke up because of a weird noise. Scared, I turned on my bedside lamp. I saw my older, 17-year-old brother peeing in my bedroom doorway. He was hoping I'd step in it in the morning. FML
Today, my boyfriend came over while I was babysitting my little brother. He wouldn't stay in bed, so my boyfriend told him,"If you don't stay in bed, the monster will eat you!" I now have to wash my brother's bedsheets, because he was too afraid to get up and go pee. FML
Today, my 2-year-old sister walked in on me while I was showering. She began to splash around in the toilet, and as I hastily jumped out to stop her, my brother and his friend got a good look as they walked past the room. FML
Today, I accidentally farted really loud. My 4 year-old brother heard me and started crying, and stopped talking to me for a whole hour. Now he tells everyone about "that time his sister farted." FML
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Top comments
DemonNecron 9
To be fair they are scary, I mean it can make people
colton_colton 50
It's better than him peeing on everything or something
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Comments (103)
colton_colton 50
It's better than him peeing on everything or something
Zoldyck 17
Would it be embarrassing to admit that I'm still scared of penises and I'm 15 years old?
Paco_el_Taco 17
Yes, yes it would.
katekoala 13
Said the guy with the phallic picture.
jcfrisco 13
Paco pls
Kielnmsoftly 26
He said penises...... Does he have more than one? I would be ******* scared too.
ProfessorMctitie 20
sound like you just have a tiny dick, it would scare me to
laden_swallow09 35
"Phallic"? It's a taco. If anything, it's… something that looks like a penis is phallic, so what's the word for something that looks like a ******?
dragonkisses28 25
To be fair, #12's picture looks like a banana if you just glance at it. To answer the above question, ****** translates to sheath or scabbard. So...yeah.
DropTheDaggerxx 31
@84, vaginal?
unpossible 26
The word for ******-like is "yonic".
DemonNecron 9
To be fair they are scary, I mean it can make people
teentee401 37
Make people...what? The suspense is too great!
Rawrshi 25
Especially after a pregnancy scare!
xxNIGHTxx_fml 17
Kinda the point. #55
Rawrshi 25
"Caaarlooosss... !"
buckstop1 37
#60, I believe she was referring to #30 saying "Make people... what?". #3 didn't add a period after "people".
luststarrr 22
Captain Obvious, is that you? ;)
Twotlet_Sprekle 5
It think he means it makes people. As in the creation of people, but honestly it's only the catalyst, the woman does the real work
XxNekoLovexX 26
Kids really do say the dardnest things cx poor little guy. He'll get over it when he's older...hopefully
1dvos_grl3 21
Or he can be one of those trans gender kids.. In that case, nope.
NightKat 25
That has to the best reaction to a penis ever lmfao
184886837272837 32
I can think of a few better ones
MrConcise 35
#36 - Totally, I don't know how anybody could disagree, considering this site is 50% a Sex-Gone-Wrong Archive.
buckstop1 37
Agreed #5. Precisely why I added it to my Favorites.
gatorclay97 28
On the bright side we know he's not gay...
flufee2 27
Hahahah
chosha_fml 27
As there's nothing wrong with being gay, that wouldn't be a 'bright side.'
volvagia720 6
Although I hold no particular dislike those who are homosexual, being 100% homosexual is wrong when it comes to natural selection.
vlalam 24
ew.. he is definitely gonna use protection when he grows up.. lol, just kidding.. kids r innocent and it's just a phase that will pass.. u will laugh at it when he grows up and that's some memory to have
nietzche 8
At least he wont ********** in public toilet
DrChimpNipples 6
Lol yeah... At least he won't do that one thing that, I feel like, most people are courteous enough not to do... Or, maybe I'm part of a select few who don't coat public toilets with my nut milk... Who knows?
iwadasn 33
42, it's a reference to the next FML.
buckstop1 37
And miss...
siggy_mcsigx 22
That doesn't sound good for identity and security development.
demamcgirl16 21
What?
buckdharma 38
Maybe he has premonitions of all the money it's going to cost him.