Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
There goes the neighborhood…
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Bad boy
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
You OK dude?
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Top comments
garrettcodd 0
the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...
kingnate16 0
did u join him?
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Comments (230)
rebekahah 7
relentlessly... that word always makes me smile. :) I had to read this like ten times because all I saw was 'sitting'.
starryxeyes 2
I read it as 'sitting' at first too. I had to re-read it twice because I knew that couldn't have been right.
bonnie_vb8 5
haha me too
pancakeboss 0
ha same
KiddNYC1O 22
Slide him over your magazine rack.
untoldfame 3
what, was it a fury shit?
xora 3
dude how u got there
amerwin 3
I hope you rubbed his face in it and told him, "NO!"
cgchamp89 7
What's with all of these FMLs about homeless people? It's like because they are homeless, it's normal, or more acceptable, for them to do these types of things...
ericka216 0
I'm curious as to how the OP reacted to that? what the fuckkk?!!
ericka216 0
sounds about right.
BrettJ 0
Well that happens to the best of us!!¡
wsquah 4
relentlessly!
UnfOrg1ven 1
that's unusual..