Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, I walked in on one of my housemates pissing in the kitchen sink full of dirty dishes. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I found out my roommate thinks the sink is an appropriate place to wash his junk. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, a homeless man bathed himself in the restroom at my coffee shop in West LA. He locked himself in there for a good twenty minutes. The lingering smell was so strong that my other coworker vomited. Thanks to what is apparently a relatively strong gag reflex, I got to clean up. FML
Today, after coming back from deployment, I found a homeless guy had broken into my house and made it his home for the last 5 months. FML
Today, I went to the laundromat. I put a load in the dryer and walked away to check on my other load. When I came back, I saw a homeless man putting his dirty, wet underwear in the dryer with my clean clothes. FML
Today, I woke up to a strange sound that sounded like a lot of water being poured into a sink. It was actually my father in law using the bathtub as a toilet. He's staying with us, and is showing no signs of leaving any time soon. He thinks this is acceptable behavior. FML
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Top comments
LolaD18 1
You should go take a dump in his cardboard box, show him who's boss.
Mirorbo 27
And... what exactly is keeping you from calling the cops, darling?
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Comments (90)
Yousuck24 21
Get a shotgun!
nerdpower_fml 1
Hell, I take baths in my kitchen sink all the time. It's been mostly positive experiences, except for that one time I got my hand caught in the waste disposal unit...
VinegarStrokes 0
One would think that after successfully breaking into a person's home that you'd reward yourself by bathing in the shower rather then the sink if that was the ultimate goal of the B&E...
mariazzz 5
WTF???
mariazzz 5
WTF???
mariazzz 5
WTF???
69_jackson_69 0
Obviously. Homeless men need to bathe to. Except sometimes they forget just where the bath really is. I say you let him stick around and teach you something.
iSitt 0
put him in your basement with a lotion in a basket
PurpleRae420 0
Ok thats when you call the cops when you dont have a shotgun what a moron that suxs I'd be throwing shit at him lol
the_gman 7
Hobo with a shotgun?
juicedboi 7
Finders keeper, losers weepers?
Wallin3 0
PUTS THE LOTION ON THOU SKIN
naybaybay17 0
OR ELSE HE GETS THE HOSE AGAIN!!!^0^/ lol!
tecktonik123 0
lol
Nooneslooking 0
Hobo with a Shotgun reference, nice.
gogowin12 0
ok
alival 12
Or call the polic!
thatsucks42 4
In my state, if someone comes into you house unwanted, it's perfectly legal to shoot their ass...
locloves44 3
No call the cops
Mirorbo 27
And... what exactly is keeping you from calling the cops, darling?
MissBrainDamage 0
Seriously...
MrBrick 0
prolly doesn't know the number for 911 lol
miume16 0
yeah
NavySEAL13 0
op:go get the shot gun Ma there's a trespasser in me house. Ma:all I could find is one of dem m16 guns. op:will have to do. Pa:and that's the story how our sink got painted red
chanta24 10
exactly!
venom2421 10
I think she wants him
rttr 18
Why do you end everything with "darling"?
LolaD18 1
You should go take a dump in his cardboard box, show him who's boss.
iheartbewbies 0
LOL
shona4lyfe 5
I totally agree
Elwin93 9
Not a smart idea. That will be her new place when she can't get him out of her house. Too bad she's probably too stupid to call the cops on him.
chili_is_good 0
damn straight
dino111 0
excellent advice, lol
Matt_Lord_Of_The 3
That only sounds fair
Awahso 25
Looks like you have a roommate
FTWaffles 2
lol can we keep him?? :D
paras0mnia 3
rules are rules :P
DontModMeDammit 10
really?
paras0mnia 3
no, the rules are, there ain't no rules :P
DontModMeDammit 10
Hey rules are rules!
california283 6
is there an echo in here
dudeitsdanny 10
Is there an echo in here? ...in here?....here...?
VorpikeII 17
no...no...no... wait...wait...wait... nevermind...neverm-
dezinspaaace 0
fyl for having some psycho wash himself in your sink...but ydi for not having a better home security system.
Renee90 2
exactly
guckylynn 19
Not everyone has a home security system. We don't even lock our doors.
alaskasfml 0
^i know whose house i'm going to.
VorpikeII 17
I was thinking the same thing^^^ but OP also deserves it for not calling 911...
Jelizondo 1
where do YOU live? I want to bathe in your sink LOL
laxflame17 7
47 where do you live Canada!!!!
giantsfan2010 23
Lock your door next time.
dreamering 16
Homeless man taking a bath??? What a ****?
iLazy 0
So how did he 'find' your sink? It means your window must have been open for him to enter.
geeksaresexy 18
The front door was open when OP got home, suggesting that was the point of entry...
alaskasfml 0
^not really. every time i go into a house i open the door AFTER i break in some other way, just to throw them off.
rustyute_21 0
sounds like someone's done that before... lol