ugh
United States
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
jackpot
Venezuela
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
pauper
Today, I came home to a homeless man sleeping in my living room. It turns out he thought my house was abandoned due to its disheveled appearance, and decided to break in. FML
Ally
United States
Today, I came home to my front door open and a homeless man taking a 'bath' in my sink. If this wasn't bad enough, he refused to leave because 'finders keepers!' FML
Anonymous
Boston, United States
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Anonymous
There goes the neighborhood…
Today, my drunk neighbor couldn’t get into his apartment and thought it would be a good idea to poop in our yard. He left a pile of diarrhea under our window, and poop-stained napkins all over the lawn. FML
Brook363
United States
Today, I witnessed the homeless man that visits my neighborhood placing bags containing his own poop in my trash cans. I later received a notice stating that the garbage company will not provide my residence with garbage service until I “refrain from placing bags of my own feces in the trash.” FML
jl_word
United States
Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
wellokaythen
This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff
Brampton, Canada
Bad boy
Today, I heard noises outside my front door. I looked out through the window, only to see my boyfriend encouraging his dog to take a dump on my welcome mat. FML
Anonymous
United States
You OK dude?
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
minimum wage
Canada
Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Top comments
garrettcodd 0
the worst part is you can't go shit on his porch...
kingnate16 0
did u join him?
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Comments (230)
mbrooks5110 0
Umm phone the police.
invicta8926 0
funny.
im_so_ninja 0
don't you just hate it when that happens?!
aaronruark 2
amerwin that made me lol fyl
Skorne 5
I, for one, think that this is the best use of the word relentlessly,] that I've ever heard.
katiejanelle42 5
Well, OP if you were in Texas you would be able to shoot him (: Yay Castle Law. Lol, we actually almost had to do that cause my dads crazy ex came and started throwing shit on our lawn and yeah, one of those times I wish we owned a gun. /: But nooo you're in Louisana, and that sucks for you so FYL.
TheDrifter 24
The castle law only applies if they are threatening you. On a side note, in the state of Louisiana you can shoot a man for loitering on your porch.
hottottie 0
I think you should have scared him.
xavier1623 4
If you scared him, you coulda scared him out of 10 years worth of shit!
ChuckNorrisBeard 0
wanna put that in the cool story box?
DrewsFML 8
did he make you sign for it?
mallow18_fml 10
I wouldn't even be mad. He has no home where he can poop in solitude, let him poop in peace.