Today, I walked in on a homeless guy peeing on a turd on the floor of the women's restroom at the park. I'm a janitor for the city. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, while I was working a customer notified me that the men's restroom need some attention. Thinking that there was just a small mess, I walked into the restroom only to discover someone had taken a crap in the sink. Guess who got to clean it. FML
Today, I walked into the ladies' bathroom to find my male boss taking a dump with the stall door wide open. FML
Today, a homeless man started to wet himself in the recliner at the coffee shop where I work. He then walked all the way to the bathroom, only to finish urinating in a puddle right in front of the bathroom door. Guess who cleaned it up. FML
Today, I started my job as a high school janitor. A student decided to welcome me by taking a dump in the urinal. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I'm a janitor at a middle school. Someone took a poo and placed it on the sink. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I work maintenance at a warehouse store. I had to clean the men's stall because someone had pooped on the seat, the floor, and got some on the wall. When I took my break, I noticed that my fellow maintenance coworker had poop on his pants and shoes. I then realized that I just cleaned up his “mess.” FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I was sitting under a tree at a park. The dirt felt a little damp, so I assumed it was dew from the night. A homeless man walks over and asks me to move, then starts to pee under the tree, followed by another man. I was sitting in their bathroom. FML
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Top comments
laurensauren 9
He peed..on a turd?..
trollfaced 2
That sucks op, janitors already don't get paid enough to clean up other peoples shit, why add more to it, people should be thankful that there IS someone to be doing that work
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Comments (136)
DarkPrince_fml 0
you're the janitor... of the whole city?
zaza_x_fml 5
FOR the city. :)
KeyboardWarrior 10
You should have slapped him with a mop.
GoingCommando93 14
It's his job, then. Gotta do it.
xcarxcrashx 9
He said he's "a janitor" not THE, READ BEFORE COMMENTING!!
coletrain11 5
I still found the comment to be funny.
BRITTANYHUNGRY 0
This FML should've just started at "I'm a janitor for the city. FML"
ilovedinosawers 17
Lol!
Link5794 18
Is your name Glenn Matthews? Because if it is, that guy is in a lot of trouble.
ForFudgeSake 6
Let me guess.. Toronto.
francescabella 1
Lol that's funny XD if I were a hobo I would do the same thing. It's a modern prank of the old poop in the bag and light it on fire trick :p maybe I'll pull that on my mother XD jk :p
instnt1nfction 17
Too many emoticons and acronyms, it makes me cry
francescabella 1
Awe so sad for you lol want me to get you a tissue and sing you a lullaby?
DocBastard 40
LOL! I so totally agree! Pissing on shit is ******* hilarious! I hope your mother grounds you for 10 years if you pull that crap on her.
francescabella 1
Dude I know! XD except I disagree for the grounding part lol yeah no thank you. I'll blame it on the dog or something XD
_Oblivion_ 12
Doc wasn't serious...
kakarot2 11
20. **WOOOOOSHHHHH* that was the sound of sarcasm going right over your head.
Roevera 14
Read her 'about me'.. it explains everything..
ElmoSaysSquishy 28
#3 is older than me yet still types like I did when I was 13. I may have just lost a little bit more faith in humanity.
francescabella 1
You guys are mean.. Holy hell.
The_Hitdude 12
I don't think francescabella has been on FML (or in any serious english class for that matter) long enough to understand Doc's sarcasm....or anyone elses. It scares me when I think about how people like this will be a part of building our future.
laden_swallow09 35
No, you're just a ******* dumbass troll, francescabella. You're not funny and you type like a 10-yr-old. Just quit.
francescabella 1
Excuse me? I have been on FML for years now and I'm in AP English 11. I'm going to be in the Army sewing your ass so your lucky I'm apart of the future. Just because I text "like a 13 year old" doesn't mean I write this way. you guys won't get anyway ripping people up.
babe7260 30
Grow up
francescabella 1
Okay, well, this will be the last time I ever comment again.
MattZAX 9
"fighting for us" that kind of makes the army seem weaker and I can't believe you are just arguing over this.
DocBastard 40
Francescabella, we're only mean to the people* who deserve it. *DISCLAIMER: "people" is used in the loosest sense here to mean "immature children"
laden_swallow09 35
If you're getting this worked up over people bashing you on the Internet, there's no way in hell that you'll make it far in any branch in the Service. Let this be a lesson.
The_Hitdude 12
Notice how her About changed from "eating rainbows and popping butterflies" to "**** off and choke on a dick". Someone got tough quickly.
francescabella 1
Back the **** off!! Don't you say I can't be in the army. You don't ******* know me. I hope your mom kills you in your sleep. I'm going to ******* eat your first born child.
enopola 5
In the army sewing my ass... Hmmm
francescabella 1
******* iPhone auto correct... I meant saving. My iPhone makes me look like a retard. I guess it is smarter then me. Oh whoa! Would you look at that. All of you are right. Congratulations :)
MattZAX 9
She changed her picture and about me like a noob .-. You also used 'then' it's actually 'than' when you said the thing about your boyfriend
francescabella 1
How is that being a noob? Lol and thank you for the grammar lesson. When I speak I say "then" because I like the sound of it better then "than". Sounds too harsh for my taste. But thanks for your concern anyway. I don't believe I'm writing a formal essay here.
afdude87 6
I'd be afraid to have you sew up me or any of my friends. I'd probably be better off rocking some sabc. Plus, I doubt you realize what true combat medics go through. You sound like all talk.
francescabella 1
If I didn't know what they went through why would I want to be one. And alright thats cool I'll let you bleed to death then. Come on now. You don't know me at all how would you know I'm all talk? The military is my life.
ladyLALAA 29
Wow, if I've ever seen someone get broken down on FML it's Francesca, she appears to have changed the about me AGAIN. If you're going to argue Missy stand up for yourself, otherwise good luck at war.
francescabella 1
Omg I've been arguing with myself this whole damn time.
ADuckOnQuack_fml 0
It's amazing how conversation travels. Over someone saying they will shit on poop... Sometimes I wonder what the hell this world has come to.
Cad6 24
I pity you francescabella, but it doesn't take the mind of a genius to know that after 5 of your comments have been thumbed down like hell you should finally just shut up.
poopy1 0
Ha
XtraEzeee 8
I'm not saying anything, in fear of Francescabella sewing my ass crack shut. Yikes.
XtraEzeee 8
I'm not saying anything, in fear of Francescabella sewing my ass crack shut. Yikes.
sydie5 12
The city is a lovely place, isn't it?
nslurve 4
wAt duz OP meen???????
THE_A_TEEN 28
New World Order.
_Oblivion_ 12
Well since you asked, it means Old Penis.
KelBelAndNats 7
Actually, it means orphaned piccolo.
laden_swallow09 35
Octopus Playmate
archenemybtch 0
Orange platypus.
illmatic2 16
Outrageous Planking
shanemaximo 7
After seeing that, if my life were a movie, that would be the part where it cutscenes to me on craigslist looking for a new job.
laurensauren 9
He peed..on a turd?..
j_cat187 20
He is a professional log-spliter
Z3kial 4
He was merely marking his territory.
Tekeler 3
U are awesome.... Lol
possiblelozer 4
Gives a whole new meaning to the term "wet turd".
zergy55 7
my thoughts exactly...
trollfaced 2
That sucks op, janitors already don't get paid enough to clean up other peoples shit, why add more to it, people should be thankful that there IS someone to be doing that work
laurenobrien 4
Clean it up, bitch lmao!
efemel94 7
No one is lmaoing
laurenobrien 4
Damn you people have no sense of humor
THE_A_TEEN 28
We do, exept that we are more sympathetic to people who have low end jobs, and we don't laugh at them. Only douchebags like you do. Be grateful that you have an opportunity to get a college education and get a job you like and help you survive the economic crisis.
bertman21 5
Exactly I'm sure op is working his ass off to pay for college or even put food on the table for his kids. Noone thinks your funny.
laurenobrien 4
I wasn't trying to make fun of his social standings or what he makes
francescabella 1
Omfg you guys are total ass holes! Get a life besides being mean to people! You all need to go to hell. Don't take shit so seriously god damn. You don't know anything about her so don't you dare call her a ****. **** the hell off.
francescabella 1
"First off", I never told anyone how they are to live their life. If anything everyone on here is saying that. Everyone DOES have their own options including me douche bag. If you have an option you can say it nicely because if you yell and be an ass to anything who thinks different then you, you will get NOWHERE! I'm not doing anything except standing up for the girl you are all bashing and have no right to do so. There's no need for bad names either. Just everyone calm down, take a breath and get over it.
BunBunBabe 8
I just love insults that are special and rare haha "feeble minded hoe"
francescabella 1
So two wrongs make a right? I don't think so. She didn't even bash him.. She clearly explained what she meant. No crap life isn't "unicorns and rainbows" but that doesn't mean you can make it a living hell. All the people I know that are ass holes didn't get anywhere in life. The nice ones end up having friends and a family and ultumetly have a better life.
MattZAX 9
It's funny how the dumber people agree with each other like 7 and 75
laurenobrien 4
It's just my type of humor..and I'm not a **** sorry you all can't take a joke
laurenobrien 4
Thank you 75 xoxo
francescabella 1
Lol your welcome. I have the same humor and I totally understood and laughed about it. People are so damn retarded.
francescabella 1
Okay so do you people laugh when your friend falls down? You know they are okay but you laugh because it's funny yet you do feel some sympathy? Same deal here people.
francescabella 1
That's my type too dude. My man talks to me like that all the time and I just laugh. Btw he's the only man I have ever been with so I'm no *****.. Just saying. But funny comment lol
afdude87 6
75, u mad bro?
francescabella 1
Nope lol
laurenobrien 4
Lol gtfo how old are you..you have some weird anime drawing as your pic. Sorry your so jealous of my body that's only good to pleasure men. Your never gonna get a girl like me or ever gonna look this good, I forgot if you were a guy or girl
laurenobrien 4
Or drawing..my bad not anime. But still your just trying to hid the fact that your an ugly asshole. Take a seat
Krirn 21
C-C-C-Combo Breaker!!!
francescabella 1
Lol now that's funny XD
laurenobrien 4
Yeah I am offended..I was not trying to disrespect any lower class people, I'm not to wealthy myself. And okay you should count your blessings because if your as much as a dick in person then you are in here, then you can kiss that "pretty" girlfriend of yours good bye. No one wants a mean boy friend
Monkeybuttcream 4
10 points for using the word "turd" in a sentence!
Mister_Triangle 21
Your comment is a turd which makes you literally worse than Hitler
bertman21 5
Wow you should have hit him with your broom
laurenobrien 4
Why? Lol you dumb
bertman21 5
Yup I'm dumb because I would hit him with the broom. I'm sooo dumb OMG I'M DUMB!!!!!
VasilisaUzhasnaj 29
22, please stop commenting.
laurenobrien 4
I just don't get why you would beat a harmless homeless guy..
bertman21 5
Maybe give him a smack and tell him to start using the urinal lol. maybe for the fun of it too.
Mikaela0296 4
That's gross. Fyl, OP.
Glitterhinoceros 14
Why was the man in the woman's restroom in the first place?
xCrazyMexican 4
Cuzz hes a hobo n hobos do what ever the **** they want
hellaflushfa5 6
Damn right we do