Today, while driving in a funeral procession I was distracted, missed my turn and yelled "God dammit!" I'm the funeral director; the Priest was in the car with me as I led the funeral the wrong way. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, it was my uncle's funeral. As we were in the cars behind the hearse, I lost sight of it in traffic, ended up taking a wrong turn, and getting lost… As did half the cars behind me, who also didn’t know where the crematorium was, and just kept following me. We delayed the funeral quite a bit. FML
Today, on my first day driving a hearse, I took a wrong turn and of course every car behind followed me. Out of pure habit I had turned right into the main street as though I was driving home, when I should've turned left. At least my wife got to see me from the window as I drove past the house. FML
Today, at my job as a funeral director, I fell ass over heels into the grave in front of a hundred mourners and an unamused Catholic priest. FML
Today, I got stuck in traffic and angrily honked at the car in front of me. Then I realized it was a hearse. FML
Today, I was stuck in what I thought was traffic on my way home from work. I started weaving in and out of traffic because it seemed to only be a few cars holding up the line. I get to the front of the line and I'd realized I just weaved through a funeral procession. FML
Today, I attended the wrong funeral. I spent twenty minutes trying to hide and walk away without being too conspicuous. FML
Today, my dad is such an asshole, he pulled out into traffic because he was too impatient to wait, which is how we ended up in the middle of a funeral for 5 miles, right behind the hearse. It was the funeral of a friend's dad and now I have 87 missed calls from her, and I’m too scared to answer. FML
Today, I joined the wrong funeral procession, because I thought everyone gathering outside was there for my uncle, so I followed them into the chapel and even hugged two strangers. I didn't realize my mistake until someone started talking about a man I'd never heard of. I had to quietly sneak out in the middle of the service. FML
Today, I was rear-ended while at a stop sign, by my driving instructor. FML
Today, my car alarm went off during a funeral. Three times. FML
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Top comments
twixxone 4
i bet the priest gave you some ugly looks and you will be in his prayers
txgirl2013 14
Oh us Texans...
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Comments (167)
sweetcheeksjvl 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
that sucks
volley4eva1698 0
time to go to church!
iSitt 0
did a hot babe distract you ?
bbucaro98 0
JESUS CHRIST!
every1luvsvag 10
I have no smartass response to this...
Dotell95 3
who cares? They are words, I doubt the almighty god really gives a shit
kellyma 0
yea he dose!
Jojo08_fml 0
hah yeah 86 she's right
countryboyj17 0
good thing he didn't say "god damnit" or that could have been bad...
AngryCanadian 0
Oh no. How horrifyingly terrible. This FML really claws into the worst of malchance. I swear, only in Texas...
agsilver 14
I do, but it's VERY racy.
twixxone 4
i bet the priest gave you some ugly looks and you will be in his prayers
smurfsarwales 9
with a mistake like that, OPs going straight to hell, no questions asked.
pulse18 2
there is no hell
every1luvsvag 10
Pulse- don't be an asshole.
MrSassypants 34
31 thanks for telling me. I can now be a badass.
Idonebeenhad 17
33 - your comments are ******* weird
ShutMeOut 0
Pulse is being an asshole because they don't believe in Hell? I love how tolerant you religious nutbags are.
KiddNYC1O 22
All this time I thought I was in hell...
nerdchic 5
88 - I see no "assholeness" here.. and it would be non religious nutbags.. you sir are a fail
MrSassypants 34
99 no he should say he doesn't believe in he'll not just say that it doesn't exsist. Also I am not religious at all. 8)
L_A_C_online 0
why are all of you hatein on pulse if he just said a opinion Im agnostic btw
iownyou777 0
cuz Jesus is so intolerant you know
NecroParade 3
Pulse is preaching just as much as a religious person, and it's just as annoying.
flockz 20
i believe in God. I just hate his fan club.
berryblue 0
hmmm
brightnite 0
No it was preaching when someone said there is no hell. it's the same as someone responding that there is a hell. if you are going to say you are tolerant, you can't just be tolerant toward one group of people.
xInMyDreams 0
it's your fault.. and you shouldn't even be cursing like that when there's a funeral procession especially when you're the one leading it with the priest in the car with you
NikkiFlysKites 8
Yes, because he yelled it on purpose. Shit happens, things just slip out.
Bakayarou_fml 0
Hey dream boy, god damn your comment!
JennaMarie420 2
I'm pretty sure everything you just said is why they posted this fml in the first place
kellyma 0
I don't think y'all are right you need to watch your mouth things don't just slip out:) I gave it a thumbs up:)
BWill9014 4
You guys are stupid... people should be able to have basic self control and not use offensive language like that during a funeral... if we all just used the "shit happens... things slip excuse" for every occurrence like this how do you expect anyone to improve their attitude/behavior...
nerdchic 5
HINT - it's called **** my life for a reason.. y'all are all dumbasses
haaschy 0
I totally agree here!
Shadow4i5 3
wow it's called self control
L_A_C_online 0
saying "god dammit" is like sayin "darn it" as well it just detirmines what you actully mean when saying it
nerdchic 5
god damnit makes me feel better than darn it :)
IBeBlazin 0
Hey dumbasses it's called a freudian slip ever heard of it?
SuperCassie 0
hey i actually find it funny. sorry haters
heimerdinger 0
well your ugly 88. so shut up.
every1luvspuns 0
165- lmfaoo i agree
every1luvspuns 0
165- lmfaoo i agree
Drew62289 0
Parapraxis was a theory thought up by Sigmund Freud. Just letting you know. You probably just looked it up on the Internet. Or are you an award winning psychologist who graduated with honors from an ivy league school? Because I can't always trust what I read on the internetz.
lublubfuddamucka 1
God damn, you guys are some sensitive pricks. It's not like he said in front of the friends and family of whoever's funeral that was and it's not like he didn't apologize to the preist. Shit DOES happen. A dear friend of mine, who is studying to be a youth pastor, will occasionally say "goddammit" but instead of acting like the world had ended, he just looks up and says "Sorry, god".
txgirl2013 14
Oh us Texans...
johnson94 5
...are bad ass, YEEHAW! (insert more stereotypical phrases). there's a snake in my boot!
sailorzoe 14
We don't call 911. *holding shotgun*
Jujuto1 0
We don't got us none of those fancy horseless carriges. We all got us some 30 stallions each in our stables out back.
Prankster7o7 5
That's the name of my shotgun, 911.
CryMoreFMLs 15
Everything's bigger in Texas, including our will to defend our home with arms.
ReynshineCutting 10
Why have there been so many fmls from Texas lately? Anyone else notice that? And screw 911. Every truck has a .45 in the console. We can take care of things.
nekro_onslaught 0
HOWDY Y'ALL!!!
flockz 20
Texas- Only place in the US where you can have as many guns as you want and not be a nutjob. YEEHAW
sgtrobswifey 0
I'm all for how it's done in Texas! I'm thinking of moving.. lol.. and bringing my "armory" too! ;)
iranoutofnames 6
chk- chuk.
irelandlol 0
lol 141:) my dad owns too many to count, and he's gotten to the point where he purchases them under my mommas name also, just so that government doesn't try to book him for being "suspicious" or something
HU4Lundead 0
seriously in front of a priest?!!
instnt1nfction 17
no, in front of a mule
hook_em 0
an ass
ribbyc80 0
so you took the scenic rout.. not like the person in the back has anything to do!!!
Life_sucks_13 6
true true
huntermc7 0
I think somebody needs to learn to chill a little bit...
txgirl2013 14
playboy is the only positive place in your future...
itsallgoodintheh 0
wow that's very very bad and not nice to say bady wordy Missy and you got lost not very good
skitzofreniks 5
After seeing your comments on previous FMLs, I have ultimately decided that you are the most retarded person on this site. I award you no points, and may God have mercy on your soul.
itsallgoodintheh 0
I am not I doint think so
skitzofreniks 5
I really wish this was a troll account. But I think this is an actual grade 8 drop-out nursing her baby at a computer desk.
itsallgoodintheh 0
no I doint have a baby and I'm not on a computher I'm on my iPhone and I never would drop out of school never ever in the world
cgchamp89 7
skitz, I'm almost positive she hasn't made it to high school yet... her comments are difficult to interpret.
itsallgoodintheh 0
I your right I'm going into high school like thise yeah like after summer time I
dreamering 16
Since you don't know where you live, I have to guess that you're from Texas and you must be related to the OP.
itsallgoodintheh 0
I will after summer time
itsallgoodintheh 0
I do its in America
meredithxjane 0
clearly op is a dude
itsallgoodintheh 0
who is
cgchamp89 7
Listen little girl, just relax and stop replying to every single thing people comment on and you will be just fine... and please, proof read what you type. We all make mistakes, but holy shit... type in English.
premiermois 5
Successful troll is very successful.
RiiOT09 9
just read her profile. her self description almost accounts for her english
no65438 0
55- epic win! (:
YoLauryn 0
I really feel like this playboy chick is in like the 6th grade. go play with my little pony or something. get off of FML.
itsallgoodintheh 0
hey that's not very nice
MrSassypants 34
62 canz I plaz wit da ponys toos? I'm just messing around. 71 I am usually not a mean person but... yup I'm not going to say anything mean. Hopefully you find out soon there is grammar nazi, lunatic, trolls that will go ******* bananas on you. Watch yourself.
itsallgoodintheh 0
okaythankks
MrSassypants 34
76 see right there. That's what is mostly pissing people off. Try not repeating letters and press the space bar.
BigOrca 2
10 hail marys and 100 our fathers. and go to confession.