Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, after spending three hours raking leaves, I went to the store to get some supplies. I came back to find my neighbor had decided to blow his leaves all over my yard. FML
Today, I woke up to a homeless man relentlessly shitting on my porch. FML
Today, my girlfriend was in the back seat of a car with one of my friends when she got sick and puked all over one of his dress shoes. My friend then asked me to replace his shoes, since she is technically unemployed and couldn't pay him back. We eventually agreed that I would pay for one shoe. FML
Today, I tried to be nice and let a homeless man have a place to crash for the night. He repaid me by pissing all over my new couch. FML
Today, I was in a parking lot looking for a spot, and after driving around for a long while I finally found one. A homeless man was taking a shit on it. FML
Today, I walked out to the parking lot and caught a homeless man laying a fat steamer on the hood of my car. FML
Today, my elderly neighbor used his snowblower to send all of the fallen leaves in his yard into mine, which I'd raked earlier that morning. FML
Today, I stepped in a pile of dog shit. While trying to get it off by wiping my foot on the grass, I stepped in another pile. FML
Today, I went to retrieve my sneakers that my wife made me leave outside the door of our hotel room. Somebody had shat in one of them. FML
Today, my neighbor respects that I keep a clean house, with no street shoes allowed inside. I bet that’s why he came in wearing felt slippers. Unfortunately, they were same ones he'd walked across the wet, dirty yard in. FML
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Top comments
RobinGoodfellow 47
I'm assuming you stepped in it by accident, but for a moment there I thought he'd pooped in a pair of shoes you left on the porch.
dawnimus 21
Ah that's grim! I'm wondering if you said something that offended him, but that's still no excuse to poop on your porch!
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Comments (63)
TrippingOnAcid 29
I'm sure you would have let him use the toilet if he'd asked.
Mightyrif 23
Nah, he'd prefer the back porch.
JMichael 26
Maybe he just thought he'd be over doing his welcome by asking to use the facilities.
CatLady4Lyf 30
He was only leaving a "thank you" gift, kinda like how a cat does when they bring you a dead mouse or bird.
Chibicase 19
Maybe he was mentally ill
dawnimus 21
Ah that's grim! I'm wondering if you said something that offended him, but that's still no excuse to poop on your porch!
Marcelb 17
He was probably mad that he had to work for the money.
Colon_Man 17
Exactly. You don't see bums playing a guitar or dancing for money. They just stick out their hand.
iMuffinKat 16
#36, he could've just turned down the offer to rake leaves.
Jasim 17
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Homeless can't find jobs for a reason.
1dvos_grl3 21
There are more reasons than just being "lazy" for being homeless. Do you know how many people who are out on the street because of being "laid off" "divorce" Also so many war veterans are homeless now. You shouldn't judge someone without knowing their story.
nietzche 8
Sincerely hoping you get homeless too.
StickyPickles 33
First person to make a shit joke/pun gets thunder punched in the throat
leafeon523 20
That must have been a ... shitty situation. Come at me #4!
Catdragon 40
#8 nah, he's too pooped to do anything.
BlindlyWandering 17
Come on man, why you trying to start shit?
Grenith 21
God, this thread is nothing, but a great pile of shit.
llalala_fml 19
#4 here's your candidate
mmazzaa 16
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Ahh that must stinks
steftriv 18
Great evaluation 10/10
steftriv 18
Great evaluation 10/10
timb1234 13
I guess they were pretty shitty shoes
RobinGoodfellow 47
I'm assuming you stepped in it by accident, but for a moment there I thought he'd pooped in a pair of shoes you left on the porch.
abraybro 27
Nice people are so rare these days.
Catdragon 40
ok
ProfessorMctitie 20
Im nice so i must be rare :)
LittleBastard 20
People who say they're nice normally aren't nice.
bearstyle22 11
I know all homeless people arent bad people but ive had some horrible experiences with the ones ive actually had contact with. so I know the feels
jazzy_123 20
lots of homeless are so ungrateful!!! yesterday at work, a homeless came in, gave me $5 and I charge for a burger. he said he didn't have money for fries and asked if we'd give him some. we are really nice at work and had a couple of extra patties on the grill so we ended up giving him a 3 patty burger and fry as well, the time comes where I have to clean the tables and this fckn asshole left fries all over his table, spilled soda that he had gotten in a WATER CUP and didn't even finish his dam fries. there was a trash can behind him!! God I was so pissed. last time we do something nice like that. he paid $5 and we gave him like $15 worth of food.
russfml 31
No good deed may go unpunished. FYL