Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ThatFatGuyBehind 3
How small was it for him to be laughing during a burgalery.
hellogoodbye1996 6
did he tell you to put clothes on?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (159)
ShadowSnipe 0
you should turn to the burglar and start urinating all over him. maybe the gun will slip out of his hand ;)
mismonroe 0
And then...?
baseballstuf52 0
well did he rape you or just steal stuff?
gabby1995pena 4
I liked you comment just because of your screen name. :D
freelife571 4
Someone is in for a "busy" morning.
bpell15 5
you should have done the helicopter!
SuperCassie 0
compared eachother's private.
rawrlily 0
Well, hey. Maybe if you were hot he'd have raped you. Although, a BURGLER (dear god I mangled that) was holding a GUN at you and STEALING YOUR STUFF and your first thought was 'Hey I have an FML!' Just kidding, you get my drift.
rawrlily 0
Addenum: Assuming OP is a girl, or that the robber was gay.
A13X33STJ 0
Your name for this FML makes it oh so worse.