Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
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Top comments
ThatFatGuyBehind 3
How small was it for him to be laughing during a burgalery.
hellogoodbye1996 6
did he tell you to put clothes on?
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Comments (159)
sematariux 7
I'll hobnock you =) lol
cindiarystrue 0
Haha nice name
susie_spiff 0
that is just dandy. maybe he remembered a funny joke.
AnynomousPerson 0
Rape
Shadow4i5 3
bet someone was excited to see him
EmoBallerina666 0
it's your house excuse him for intruding on you and your personal sleeping preference.
mnohoe 9
Wait, so what did he steal? Your stuff our the back door virtue?
Magnimus 4
So how did it end? Inquiring minds want to know.
SincerelyPsych 0
hahaha! when do you find the time to post things like that on websites after a burgalary!
alexxss_fml 10
and that's when you shouldve gone Bruce Lee on his ass.