Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I saw a man lying face down in a field and thinking he was injured, I ran over to help. As soon as I got to him, I realized he was completely naked. He stood up and chased after me. FML
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Today, after taking a refreshing shower, I found out that due to a newly-built platform, people in the apartment underneath can see right into my bedroom. While I was standing there completely naked, some guy smiled at me. FML
Today, I got out of bed and immediately went to the window as it was supposed to snow today. I saw a man walking his dog and he waved at me. I waved back enthusiastically and realised I was naked. FML
Today, I was walking down the street and while stopped at a light, this old man waved at me. Thinking nothing of it, I walked through a parking lot to get to where I was going, where he not only followed me, but mistook me for a prostitute. It was 5pm. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I found out the day manager has been illegally entering my apartment when I’m not home. My car was in the shop, so when he saw my parking spot empty, he came right on in. I was just getting out of the shower and was standing stark naked. He didn’t even try to explain. Just smirked. FML
Today, my new friend and I went out to a concert. When we came back to her house, she ran upstairs and left me alone. Suddenly, a naked man came into my view and I stared at him, horrified. Great way to meet her Dad. FML
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Top comments
silentbutfunny 0
I would be scared, very very scared
KeyboardWarrior 10
Don't be afraid of the naked men who wander the night. Just follow them to their white van, it's legit.
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Comments (101)
silentbutfunny 0
I would be scared, very very scared
MichellinMan 20
oh yes, he just wants you to go into his cellar, where he's got all these popsicles, and free buttermilk... mmmm....
doctorwhogirl 0
I would be terrified but why....why was he naked- please tell me you asked him why - I need to know!!! TELL ME!!!
hellbilly205 17
I hope you can run OP, better yet i hope you did run away fast...
MileyCyrusIsHot 5
lol
nuhuh 1
Has nobody watched or read the time traveler's wife? It's not his fault he goes into the past or future without his clothes!
silentbutfunny 0
No, but i watched the terminator
MaceFaceLOL 8
Close enough.
WaterPoloLove3 0
59- I immediately thought of The Time Traveler's Wife when I read this FML.. I guess that means that both of us would get raped and killed in a situation like this... >.
XxDevilxXGt 26
He sounded like a sincere guy, except for the part where he was naked. I pictured this in a funny way. Op turns around "Ah!" Guy: "yea uh... There was a problem, don't mind me."
Isandri 29
i had identical information, i was getting back from some party and at the first bus stop i encountered a half naked masturbator (it was-10) and then when i was near my flat, i had pleasure to met another one xD i'm a girl btw and it was 3 in night :F
imepelepticsir 5
he was just giving you a heads up, anyone would have gotten scared looking at suck tiny parts.
AFCA020 4
By Amy chance, did you park at a naturist site?
AFCA020 4
*any ... f#*^!! Autocorrect..
Isandri 29
situation* god im tired
Rocker909 0
He was pretty "ballsy" to do that.
_Oblivion_ 12
119- ********
LolFMLnot 10
If he didn't do anything to you and just walked away then **** His Life , because God knows how far his house was O.o
bobbeta30 14
Hey doctorwho girl!
theaws0m3guy 4
He. He. He. Giggity...
mrsjbiebs906 0
I would be so scared too ehhh what a creeper
max_bleu 2
Ahhhhahahah 58 perfectly answers that question!! I love it
doctorwhogirl 0
hello
oldirtybasterdSE 0
Don't be scared. I'm from da future! Now gimme your clothes
juliahockey 0
At least he wasn't holding a knife. Imagine a naked guy in the dark holding a knife, saying "..don't be scared." scarred for life.
CalCommando 6
*Feels something hard pressed against back.* That's not my knife... 0.o
MaceFaceLOL 8
"it's my gun" ;)
Yak99 0
It shoots but not bullets
McMan 23
If his tail's wagging that means he's happy to see you...I mean wait what?
BrickWalls 2
Yak it shoots Bolts:)
aceman1992 9
Listen op, there was a reason I told you not to be scared. I got super high, can't remember 3 hours of my life, and woke up in said parking lot. *And I mean obliterated high.
4everblackjack 10
Oh gawd! This comment made me laugh so hard I fell off my bed & woke up everyone in the house D:
simgar98 0
rapist....
moop256 10
Giggity
quite_bored 9
What kind of rapist starts out naked?
MichellinMan 20
28- are you semi retarded?
quite_bored 9
Quite possibly.
peachesncreem 21
This would have been the best time to sing "Hey you! Don't touch me there.. That is my no no square.. R-A-P-E RAPE!"
emogiggles 0
Stop don't touch me there that is my danger square r-a-p-e get your penis out of me haha
silentbutfunny 0
75 a little to far?
Wederoney 16
Reminds me of the rapist song :D
emogiggles 0
Eh I just like the way it sounds
KeyboardWarrior 10
Don't be afraid of the naked men who wander the night. Just follow them to their white van, it's legit.
123josie123 11
....stranger danger!! No means no Mister!
MichellinMan 20
I was expecting the pedo bear guy to be one of the first comments.
MaceFaceLOL 8
SINISTER MISTER!!!!!
peachesncreem 21
This would have been the perfect time to sing "Hey you, don't touch me there! That is my no no square!"
DKParth13 5
107 just stop.
SeedlessMe 13
Marge knows best... It's Sinister Minister! ;-)
SwaggerMelon 6
Yeah, vans are legit.
juliahockey 0
Always trust a man in a big white van!
Aboss786110 0
Were you scared?
cream_bunny 0
No.
thepatty8474 10
No, he was overjoyed of seeing a naked man walking behind him.
jtthegr8 26
At least he gave you some kind of warning? Yeah?
MichellinMan 20
um... warning that your about to get buttfucked.
Justwannacoment 7
or that the naked dude was going to cut a whole in her then rape the wound
Namerkp2 8
It's not rape if you yell surprise.
salad_fingers 0
It's also not rape if you like it. :3
lea3829 7
thats when u get scared
kyliebear 15
Erm, did he overdose on crazy pills?
simgar98 0
no it was just a rapist
ShroomsOnAcid 17
If only he were taking his crazy pills OP wouldn't have found herself in this situation.
silentbutfunny 0
You could have pointed and laughed. Make fun of his size and walk away. He wouldnt do that anymore.
maxwells_hammer 5
Or he would rape and kill you...
Lilpciak2012 2
oh my goodness. that is scary.
loller27 6
that's when you deck him in the face
silentbutfunny 0
Or the nuts. Make him not want to expose them to random people at night in fear of a ******** kicked back up into the belly again.
loller27 6
yeah really
MichellinMan 20
I would castrate him with a dull butter knife.
sparkrok 8
33 - me too. I also carry a dull butter knife in my pocket everyday.
MichellinMan 20
56- yep, it comes in handy.
silentbutfunny 0
Women carry mace, i carry a dull rusty butterknife.
ShroomsOnAcid 17
I prefer tortilla chips. Those ******* are sharp!
kelissa_fml 16
Naw. I'd do it the cool way. I carry legos in my pocket to throw on the ground. He was naked so I doubt he was wearing shoes.
Daiyuki 5
Caltrops are more effective