Anonymous
United States
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
guessthatsatrickthen
Leeds, United Kingdom
Today, I opened the door to what I thought would be a group of trick or treaters. It was actually a naked man. He wanted to come in. FML
ladymichee
What do y'all want?
Today, police barged into my apartment for a drug raid, but they had the wrong address. They came in while I was naked on my couch and didn't even apologize for breaking my door. FML
nekkiddrunk
United States
Today, I locked myself, drunk and naked, out of my hotel room. FML
mike oxsmall
United States
Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
goingtobeevicted
London, United Kingdom
Landlords gonna landlord
Today, my new landlord and lettings agent made an illegal entry into my house. Unfortunately, at the time my boyfriend was buck naked, smoking a joint on the sofa, surrounded by the cats we aren't supposed to have. FML
meeeoow
Australia
Today, my drunken father decided to walk my quiet street naked. FML
Shocked
Why hello there...
Today, while looking at a house to buy, I opened a bathroom door. There was a naked man on the toilet. FML
hellphone_fml
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
why me
Today, someone broke into my house and stole all of my underwear. FML
Hunterxx
United States
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Top comments
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
was he hot?
rushiee 0
I wanna be just like him when I grow up (: lol
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Comments (231)
UnknwnClassicGrl 5
was he hot?
mz_booty 0
haha sure he wasn't just stoned??
sweetdreams999 0
exactly, #1. ask him to share his bud with you. hardly an FML. he probably just had the munchies.
Pokeemon 3
lol it was me :( I was arrested
MaskingTape 2
haha. sounds to me like your prayers have been answered.
Themuffinman728 0
and only if you marinate it first
edteach 0
everything affects pplz differently, smoking weed and running a half marathon, after a 60 mile cycle session sounds like a great time to me! never got the urge to break into houses nekid tho....
lolomg69 0
well, he had a cheek... two actually.. see what I did there? ^^
SirSantpoort 0
I hope you mean stoned as in high from the rocks as in Crack! Otherwise its bulls. When i smoke weed i just wanna sit and do nothing. All you stupid Americans see weed as something special, with your "trips and adventures". Its SOFTdrugs, not harddrugs. the name says it. soft.. Its for children. Come to Holland and pass out.
DumDum999 0
Stop crying OP. He was just filming a porno for ****.com for the category "Wigger World"
Haydenob 0
and op was seduced that day
samadams42 0
nekked grandma!!
anonhxc 0
I'm calling bullshit. nobody would ever have the sand to do that stoned
sarapsosis 1
poor thing he was stoned, must have been bloody asking for help running away from an angry mob! hope you helped him!!
karch 0
oh crap that was you? I am so sorry
jjstock 7
haha just call the cops
jess2gd4u 0
or cut off his scrotum.
Snackbars 0
And eat it.
CoonAndFriends 0
But only on tuesday.
NotYourOrdinary7 6
For breakfast.
mismonroe 0
While naked
Thanatos1206 0
And hungry.
6969awesome 0
with pretzles
sgtrobswifey 0
and cheese sauce. not his, the kind ya get from the movies
commodore350 0
scrumptious
yelwarc 0
Mmm Mmm Good
AlterrOnmi 0
and wash it all down with orange juice
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Then throw it back up
persianjr1 7
and eat it again
sara117 0
then do the hokey pokey
cfalen 0
in Rebecca Black's house
cfalen 0
in Rebecca Black's house
cfalen 0
in Rebecca Black's house
cfalen 0
in Rebecca Black's house
thatguy205 4
Simpsons did it.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
With your mom
thatguy205 4
Who hasn't?
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I haven't
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
I haven't
thatguy205 4
That's not what she told me. She said you weren't very good.
josey_wales 0
2, you have a very punchable face. Sorry, know it's not your fault. Just...errr!
jjstock 7
haha thanks! I'm glad my face pisses you off
rushiee 0
I wanna be just like him when I grow up (: lol
kyanisaurus 0
to become a stoned naked man...it's gonna be a long hard journey for you miss
mandalore92 0
pun intended?
C6Racer 0
Yes
Magedofe 0
Good luck with that...
rushiee 0
twas a joke(:
RiZiX 0
oh sheesh y'all, twas a JOKE
skeezle 0
twas?
forgettingsunday 0
twats!
dhwig 0
win ^
Bubblerider 3
it's fail not lose. *facepalm*
kyanisaurus 0
I like palm trees.
taleeeeeen 0
i bet alot of asians doo
hahayousucks 3
win^
hahayousucks 3
win^
NoniNightmare 0
lol I like u girl
kyanisaurus 0
wait, suddenly I'm assumed to be Asian? :O
Thanatos1206 0
Yes, that and your profile says you hail from Tokyo, Japan.
Captain_Zorro 7
C C C Combo BREAKER!!!!
kyanisaurus 0
thanks 195, I guess my eyes give it away. a white friend once asked me if I saw things in "widescreen" but that's another story :/
chlorinegreen 27
When he's sobered up, I want to hear the story of how he got there.
insanesna1l 0
it probably involved cross country travel, fast food, hookers and midgets
I_R_Genius 3
Did someone say midgets. I...uhmmm.. gotta go now...
ImaWiseGuy 5
he was streaking and decided to hit his pcp on the wrong door step from what I understand.......
carlosestrada1 4
midgets FTW
Livinia 11
That's life scarring.
Prolusive 5
Shoot him? That's a bit harsh, isn't it?
Keem_74 0
Yu beautiful
bgawne 0
keep it in your pants
docscientist 10
Toss him the game of Simon and he'll be pacified for hours.
Grand_Cookie 21
throw a sandwich at him, it's probably what he wanted.
RiZiX 0
hahahaha make him a sammich!
Residence_fml 4
LOL this is the reason why you should allow soft drugs in a country at least it's more under control with a certain amount you can legally buy so people won't be able to go thát far over their limit. Besides it's always a great idea to let at least 1 or 2 sober people watch over the stoners, no matter what drugs they are doing. (Don't do myself but I hear it's for the best) FYL OP
reece529 1
ur an idiot stoners never need lookin after... u don't have to baby sit someone just because they are high...
HateyMcHater 4
Having babysat more than my share of stoners, I would respectfully posit that you don't know ****-all about much of anything.
fighterboy11 7
Yah some stoners need a vigilant eye it matters what they are doing (trchnically stoned=marijuana but our could be laced
emmmilyyy 0
hatey I'm sorry but you've wasted a lot of your time... stoned people do not need babysitting. it's not like you start hallucinating and try to jump off a 10 storey building. stoners are fully capable of playing cod and eating cheetos without someone staring them down lol!! do your friends lace their weed with pcp???
KMilliron 2
Last time I left a group of my stoned friends (on just weed) unattended they ran naked up my street, stole a handicapped sign, and then coated my lawn in ******* macaroni and cheese.
yzf250rider88 2
well you just have shitty friends who are trying to pretend to be high because that does not happen. I'm sure you people that are bashing smokin have never tried is so until you do, don't pretend like you know what it's like. if you need a babysitter while smoking you have issues other then being high.
KMilliron 2
My iq is dropping reading your posts. I've heard of contact high but I didn't know that just reading some of your posts would kill brain cells too. I have never done weed. I never will. I'm not bashing your decision so stop pretending to know exactly how every person reacts to every joint that has ever been smoked. Too many variables for you to even pretend to take into consideration. So please just don't.
Autoshot 9
KMilliron, your ignorant opinion is worthless.
sttrep 0
#104 that made my day
MuffyStJacques 0
I smoke weed all of the time and I'm fully aware of what I'm doing. I even did LSD without a baby-sitter. Unless people are just naturally stupid, there is no need to have someone watch you while you are high on marijuana.
Bubblerider 3
this post bees more cowbell.
knightsfb 0
9 what is to stop someone in your fantasy country from buying the drugs at one store, driving a block, buying some more. it's never going to happen
fadingfaith 4
Did you learn that I'm health class? Cause you actually don't need people watching over you when you're stoned.
Andrewlostnow 3
so it was your house I was breaking in too. sorry about that!
BAMF18 0
shut up. the cool kids at school would never sell you any form of drug. #fatnerd.
Mistery510 6
that's AWESOME!!!