Today, I woke up to a burglar holding a gun. He yelled at me to get up so I did. He then paused and laughed. I was sleeping naked. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, my husband thought it'd be funny to trigger the alarm in the house while I was sleeping. Shocked, I ran outside naked. FML
Today, someone knocked on my door. I yelled "Yeah?" while getting up, since it was locked. My grandpa walked in, as I apparently didn't actually lock it. I was naked. FML
Today, I woke up to noises in my living room. I was scared, but I loaded my gun and snuck downstairs. I burst into the living room, yelled for the motherfucker robbing me to put his hands up, and flicked on the light. My cat stared back at me like I was a moron then calmly walked out. FML
Today, at around 2am, I was walking through a parking lot to my car when a man walking behind me told me not to be scared. I turned around to tell him there was no problem. He was naked. FML
Today, I woke up to my new roommate staring at me, just a few inches from my face. She then told me how easy I would be to kill in my sleep. Then she stood up, naked from head to toe. FML
Today, a stoned man tried to break into my house. Naked. FML
Today, I farted so loudly in bed and I woke up my husband. Startled, he thought that someone was entered in our room and fired a shot. FML
Today, I woke up to find my car broken into. After being upset for not hearing my car alarm go off I realized it had in the middle of the night. I had woken up and cursed the idiot who set off their alarm and put a pillow over my head, falling back to sleep shortly after. FML
Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML
Today, I fell asleep on the couch and woke up to find that I had slept through my house getting robbed. FML
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Top comments
ThatFatGuyBehind 3
How small was it for him to be laughing during a burgalery.
hellogoodbye1996 6
did he tell you to put clothes on?
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Comments (159)
DjeePee 25
Be happy you are a guy. I doubt that, if your were a naked woman, he just would have laughed.
iMikeru 0
that's not entirely true. the burgeler may have been gay. it's bad to assume things.
sxe_beast 11
I've seriously never heard of a gay burglar. *Adds being burglarized to list of fantasies*
sillyjb 9
true if he were gay laughter would have been ok. um straight not so much lol
sxe_beast 11
I wouldn't be a good burglar. I would pay too much attention to the decor.
iMikeru 0
I have that same issue sometimes.. well.. during summer I sleep naked, but with a sheet over me, but I worry what I'll do if my parents try to get me out during a fire or something... thinking about it ends up putting me to sleep.
Nimmrodel 11
your story put me to sleep :p
Julery6 4
Hah that's exactly what I think, I'm always scared that if I sleep naked they'll rush in and tickle me or something (my parents are weird).
masolano 0
i have actually been in a situation a bit...similar. I was taking a shower when an earthquake started so we all ran out to the street.. I didn't get a chance to put clothes on. the whole street knew me as that one kid who ran out naked haha
jackiemoonthepro 5
at least your gun wasn't loaded ;)
awsm44 0
or was it? the story isn't complete...
soreal808 0
this soundssss so fake lol!
airs_01 3
exactly. I'd much rather be laughed at by a burglar than laughed at, and then shot.
Whammeh 0
Seems you were having a a very bad day OP, walk into any glass doors or anything after this? FYL, Although the burglar's laughing wouldn't have been the biggest issue in comparison to the fact OP had a gun in his face it still would have been pretty humiliating, you have my sympathy. I hope the burglar got caught, though I'm sure he already got more than he bargained for with that view.
WiderWille 11
What?
Mythekos 0
Well he definitely wasn't going to Rob you of that. >...>
RandomBlackMan 0
what did he do after
FlipInBrosky 4
Obviously seeing that you had the time to write this FML you didn't get shot. F the burglar's Life..he didn't get jack shit!
RedPillSucks 33
Perhaps he got Jacked Off.
johnnythreetears 2
maybe if you were small enough he'd feel bad enough to leave all your stuff. FYL