Today, I woke up to 15 texts from my mom, 6 missed calls, and with no bra or shirt on in a random guy's bed. Welcome to spring break, ladies and gentleman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family for spring break, only to realize that I'd left my phone in my apartment. After a 2 hour drive back, I discovered my boyfriend with my neighbor. He panicked and pretended to be sleepwalking. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
On the first day of spring break, your one night stand got you: 15 texts from mom, 14 pulsating head pains, 13 cents in your pocket, 12 hours forgotten, 11 inexplicable Snapchats, 10 new sex positions attempted, 9 indentations on your face for sleeping on wrinkled sheets, 8 odors you didn't even know existed, 7 things you forgot to do, 6 missed calls, 5 minutes before mystery guy returns, 4 pairs of boxers on the floor, 3 tangents of thought about how many guys were actually there last night, 2 turtles in the terrarium mystery guys keep on a shelf, and a missing shirt/bra combo stranding you temporarily!
Irakli_1 27
The important thing is to wake up in the same country
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Comments (100)
SOILEDIT 51
What else happened? This is the beginning to a really wild story!
nzhx 23
Not necessarily? All she described was sex with a stranger if that's your definition of wild spring break is on all year round
slappygecko 21
It'll be like the fourth hangover movie.
ladyLALAA 29
#5 **** says what?
yenze 18
What?
NYGiants1925 22
I don't think she remembers the rest of the story...
YouDeservedIt69 8
You seem like a ****
Kaoticwolf 17
SOUNDS LIKE ONE HELL OF A NIGHT :D
A07 48
STOP SHOUTING
ThrottleJockey 36
LOUD VOICES!
tackblog 14
*looks at location* Seems about right.
Marcella1016 32
What is the location? All I see on mobile is United States.
FrizzyGuide 8
For me it says she is from United States, Indiana.
tin_cup 27
Sounds like a fun night to me!! Why is this an FML?
Irakli_1 27
The important thing is to wake up in the same country
darshini_ii 24
We need a follow up Op
dilliedill 13
We're up all night to get lucky!
Tripartita 45
On the first day of spring break, your one night stand got you: 15 texts from mom, 14 pulsating head pains, 13 cents in your pocket, 12 hours forgotten, 11 inexplicable Snapchats, 10 new sex positions attempted, 9 indentations on your face for sleeping on wrinkled sheets, 8 odors you didn't even know existed, 7 things you forgot to do, 6 missed calls, 5 minutes before mystery guy returns, 4 pairs of boxers on the floor, 3 tangents of thought about how many guys were actually there last night, 2 turtles in the terrarium mystery guys keep on a shelf, and a missing shirt/bra combo stranding you temporarily!
theswanlake 13
GENIUS!
sammiaaron 16
brava, good sir
19990231 29
Up voted for effort.
ladyLALAA 29
Drugs really are bad
Tripartita 45
I don't know if using the feminine form of bravo was intentional, #12, but thanks regardless.
RoseCrystal 17
*standing ovation* Bravo!!!!
PrincessZelda_HR 22
That's possibly the most effort I've seen put into an FML comment before, well done sir!
JosephKorso 15
And a partridge in a pear tree.
tomvertigo 17
*slow clap*
xx000o 27
Other than that a relatively quiet night.
SneezyBear 27
Did anyone else find this difficult to sing? XD
bornpatriot 11
The Master has spoken
GokuSS400 18
Sir, you are a genius
Tantien 8
Legend. No more than that
kre8iv 13
Spring break goals tho
born_hustla 26
You woke up with a story to tell...start from the beginning.