Today, I woke up to 15 texts from my mom, 6 missed calls, and with no bra or shirt on in a random guy's bed. Welcome to spring break, ladies and gentleman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family for spring break, only to realize that I'd left my phone in my apartment. After a 2 hour drive back, I discovered my boyfriend with my neighbor. He panicked and pretended to be sleepwalking. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
On the first day of spring break, your one night stand got you: 15 texts from mom, 14 pulsating head pains, 13 cents in your pocket, 12 hours forgotten, 11 inexplicable Snapchats, 10 new sex positions attempted, 9 indentations on your face for sleeping on wrinkled sheets, 8 odors you didn't even know existed, 7 things you forgot to do, 6 missed calls, 5 minutes before mystery guy returns, 4 pairs of boxers on the floor, 3 tangents of thought about how many guys were actually there last night, 2 turtles in the terrarium mystery guys keep on a shelf, and a missing shirt/bra combo stranding you temporarily!
Irakli_1 27
The important thing is to wake up in the same country
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Comments (100)
missyfiona89 28
Random guy, random STD. And a random positive pregnancy kit will just take the cake!
thenetflox 4
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
I imagine she wasn't a total idiot an used protection.
Xamry14 10
When your that drunk, you don't really think rationally. It's hard enough to remember how sentence structure works let alone remembering no condom=baby
onlychildFTW 34
Happened to a girl I knew. Both her and the guy drunk on spring break. She woke up just like the OP and 9 months later she was a single mother. When having a drunk hook up protection is rarely used. If forgotten or if he takes it off knowing she won't notice. And when drunk the pull out game is very weak.
jagott2 8
Being drunk doesn't mean she didn't use protection. Many forms of female birth control aren't applied at the exact moment of intercourse like a condom. The pill is taken every day regardless of sexual activity so if she's on the pill there's a good chance she took it earlier. There are also birth control options such as shots that are good for several months, birth control patch, IUDs, etc. Course I'm only referring to pregnancy protection not STI/STD protection.
ladyLALAA 29
Aah, to be a young **** again
jen1097 25
Please control yourself
swegdood 15
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
you dumbass it ended already
17green17 13
Mine hasn't even started yet. The whole world doesn't revolve around you.
alex_gen 39
Welcome to motherhood and/or STDs.
jagott2 8
Having a one night stand doesn't automatically mean a woman is pregnant or has an STD. I find it ironic that when a guy has a one night stand I see very few (if any) comments saying he's going to be a father or saying he has an STD. Most comments are something along the lines of him being congratulated for 'getting his dick wet' or 'hitting that'. Yet when it's a woman it's assumed she's already 9 months pregnant with triplets, the father has changed his name and fled the country, and she has been diagnosed with chlamydia, HIV, herpes, and the common cold.
LostDN 9
hoe
ksks1234 33
Do you need a farming implement?
allforfun 23
Have some respect for yourself.
_lifemyfuck_ 11
Okay I completely misunderstood this at first. I thought you received pictures of your mom with her underwear in some guy's bed xD okay, now it makes sense why everyone is saying you deserved it. Yes.
8313girl 28
Lol, what? It made sense from the beginning. She did something stupid while she was drunk. She won't be the first and won't be the last. I don't think she deserved it either. Hopefully she watches how much she drinks in the future and surrounds herself with trustworthy friends.
faireanjell 5
So you get wasted and hook up because you need attention but that wasn't enough attention so you post on here about it.. The attention you need is you giving it to yourself .. Please be safe
lolhailsatan 23
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
yikes! I get the dangers of hooking up with strangers but this is just uselessly harsh. Having sex with someone isn't seeking attention. even if it was, who cares?? And how is posting something on here asking for attention?? lol then you could just insult everyone who tries to post a FML!
lolhailsatan 23
And i'm not saying this was not unsafe of her. It's always irresponsible to have sex with a stranger. But I literally don't understand how being condescending to her by saying she is "seeking attention" would be helpful or fair.
vcapelo 19
No it's not always irresponsible to have sex with a stranger. Maybe it's just ti people having fun
llamallover 2
Women usually have sex because they like sex, not because they want attention.
LostCosmo 5
When you get texts from your mom saying she had a lot of fun last night. ;-;