Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was so drunk that I gave my mom's number instead of mine to the really cute guy I met at the bar. FML
Today, I looked in my pocket for the phone number of a girl I met last night at a party. I remembered us talking and exchanging phone numbers. When I found the piece of paper, I discovered that instead of writing her number down, I had drunkenly written down my own. FML
Today, I was at my friend's house celebrating his 16th birthday. I couldn't find my phone so I asked my friend's girlfriend if I could borrow her phone to see if I could hear mine ringing. I dialed my number, only to find she had my number saved in her phone as "ASS FACE #3". FML
Today, I was drunk and sent my friend a picture of my penis. He edited the picture and put hands and sunglasses on it before sending it to practically everyone I know. FML
Today, I met a cute girl at a dance club. I entered her number in my phone just before she left the club. With a proud smile, I turned the screen towards my buddy, showing off my accomplishment. Attempting to give me a friendly pat he accidentally closed my phone. I hadn't saved the number. FML
Today, I finally found the courage to ask a guy I like out for a drink. He accepted, we drank, and when it came time to go home, I half-drunkenly left him my number. Once I got back home, I realized I'd actually given him my dad's number instead. FML
Today, I went to a bar with some buddies, and after trying to pick up a few girls, one of my friends got a number. When I heard the number, I said, "Sorry man, that's definitely the rejection hotline number." So many girls have given me that number, I've memorized it. FML
Today, my friend asked me if I flirted with any girls during our shift. I said, "No, not any I could think of." He then told me there was a note on my windshield that said, "Call me" with a phone number on it. After my shift, I went to my car excited and read the note. It was just a penis. FML
Today, I got a text message. It said, "I'm so drunk. What you up to, girl?" It was my dad. FML
Today, I woke up from a drunken daze and texted my best friend to take me back to my car. I got confused as to why our messages were green since it was iMessage. Well, come to find out I hooked up with her boyfriend in the bathroom the night before. I should mention I'm a dude, and so is he. FML
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Top comments
shaytards_fml 9
a guy sent me a pic once, I couldn't open it, so I gave to my father. it was a penis too...
blackonblight 33
Because "no" is met with "why not?" "Don't be a bitch" "just give me a chance" "******* **** I bet you gave it out to very one else you just don't want to admit you're a *****" "frigid bitch I was tryina be nice see what that gets me?" And so on and so forth?
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Comments (116)
shaytards_fml 9
a guy sent me a pic once, I couldn't open it, so I gave to my father. it was a penis too...
underthesea12 24
giving dad the dick.... nice
JustinKirby 20
Two 1st comments in a row? What kind of wizardry is this!
shaytards_fml 9
knock on wood :p
cheesyfeet2001 31
That's an FML in its self.
karlcolt45 19
maybe you found a new dad!
SmuggletheBudgie 15
or not!
fmlallthetyme 23
Guess who's a bitch for giving out fake numbers? Just turn them down so they aren't sending such pictures to random people.
sugarmommy 4
guys should really just stop sending random dick pics. I mean if they know eachother and are both particapating in sexting and or pic exchanging thays fine. but this guy (apperantly) randomly sent a picture of his dick to a girl he just met.
stargirl_95 24
But some guys can't take no for an answer. Some guys will continue to push you into giving them your number or in some cases will resort to verbal or sometimes physical abuse. Girls don't give out fake numbers because they're bitches, they do it because it is honestly the easier choice. Where my mother grew up it is not uncommon for guys to twist your arm until you give them your number or promise to meet them later so what do you do then?
xReDMemory 28
Pepper spray them or call the cops if they can't take no for an answer,don't let it get to that point.
Meettitan 14
#23, pepper-spray?
persianninja 23
238-2005 always worked for me
Jabberwockyy 13
Guys aren't as respectful as they should be to women. If a guy doesn't respect you then he has no right to have any part of you. Sending unwanted dick pics falls under the category of disrespectful and just desperate of them.
spekledworf 18
I don't think you've had a guy harass you till you give him your number. Then you will understand
SillyGirl4602 23
I've given out a fake number when I was younger. The guy wouldn't stop asking. Now I just walk away from them. I agree that some guys won't take no for an answer. That's when you just walk away.
crazytwinsmom 25
When 'no' didn't work, I would give the state mental hospital number. I always liked to imagine that conversation when they called it.
DanielleinDC 34
Guess who's an asshole for sending a dick pic to a girl he just met. As for you, OP, try to have a number in mind the next time some bozo insists on having it. If you can remember through the haze of alcohol, maybe 867-5309 would work.
lux0rd 18
I like 021-3825-968. It's 021-****-you
SuperMew 22
Sometimes there is no way to walk away. I had a guy shove me into a wall and start screaming that I was a "bitch *****" for turning him down. I gave him the Sheriff's hotline.
JD1147 27
Agreeing with #3. Just say you're not interested instead of giving out fake numbers.
ruckfules85 34
And you couldn't just tell them no because?
blackonblight 33
Because "no" is met with "why not?" "Don't be a bitch" "just give me a chance" "******* **** I bet you gave it out to very one else you just don't want to admit you're a *****" "frigid bitch I was tryina be nice see what that gets me?" And so on and so forth?
marcranger 29
Wish I could upvote you more than once, 27. With some guys, you just can't win.
Zimmington 21
#27- I can't believe there are guys out there that are that rude/desperate... On second thought I can but I didn't think there were that many. I wouldn't even be friends with a guy who begged for a woman's number like that... No means no bro just move on
TheGreatAlexande 12
#27 So you don't like them enough to give them your number, but you still care about them enough to give a rat's ass about their opinion of you? I'm sensing a discrepancy here.
Amanyyyyyy 29
91- It's not that she cares, it's that it doesn't stop until he gets what he wants...
blackonblight 33
Oh, I don't, I go for the "**** off I don't want your attention" route, also not drinking and not being social at all means after one '**** you bitch' I tend to zone out, but I've been the friend standing by as 'nice' guys harass a girl who isn't interested but can't find a "no" they'll accept. Finally the girl made up a number of a (fictional) Marine older brother they could call, claiming he screened all her dates for her. The way the blood drained was amusing.
SuperMew 22
I don't see how people fail to see how scary some of these guys can be. There is no walking away from them, because they follow you. They say crass things and sometimes even get physical.
Zebediabolical 45
If you're in a bar and a guy starts to get physical all you have to do is scream. I guarantee he'll get tackled like a rugby player. Unless you're in a gang bar. In which case what the **** are you doing in the gang bar in the first place?
Robbieisadowg 16
#27 but now if she ever sees these people again, they'll have even worse to say.
Pussycat86 18
#27 I hear you sister, on my last bday night I was out with 3 other girls to a club, there was this creepy way older than us guy (minimum of 20 years older) who took turns hitting on all 4 of us trying to buy us drinks, we tried to be polite but that guy was so desperate and didn't take four No's as an answer!
Epikouros 32
Advice from a creepy older guy: saying 'No' is ineffective, because you're still answering his question. If the question is inappropriate, make it clear that you don't want to talk to the guy at all. Yelling 'Leave me alone, creep!' will alert bystanders. It's better to be called a bitch than to be seen as polite and weak.
Kibaruto 33
Did your mother reply to the text?
pizzzah 9
**** your mother's life
purebliss_fml 19
Don't you have the Rejection Line in the USA?
Jabberwockyy 13
Oh I love that number ! I used to call it myself just to get a good laugh.
Zimmington 21
I love that number for the simple fact that it was really popular in high school but a girl never used it on me. A small personal victory.
perdix 31
My three guesses are: Anthony Wiener Pope Francis Jennifer Lopez I hope I win!
Nohman 14
Carlos Danger!
challan 19
what exactly are you telling these guys that the first thing you get is a penis? I usually try not to give off the "***** vibe"
purebliss_fml 19
Maybe some guys are just creepy losers? Doesn't mean she was being a *****.
perdix 31
#16, it's not you, it's us. We're told that when we meet someone new, we must put our best foot forward. For some of us, our best foot isn't actually a foot (or maybe it is) ;)
stargirl_95 24
Except you don't need to give off a ***** vibe or even an I'm interested vibe for guys to send you pictures of their dicks. Some guys will try to sext you no matter what kind of girl you are.
perdix 31
#25, even on a text-based web site. Say hallo to my leetle fren'! 8==========D~~~~~ How you doin?
Ukeee_X 19
Such slutshaming, wow
challan 19
I'm not saying I've never received unwanted pictures, but in a way when I have, I've blamed myself. I've deleted kik (we all know you kik to see dick) and I make sure that guys know that I'm not interested in them in that way. I believe that Op has led them on. when I want a dick picture, I'll ask someone special to get naked and I'll take it myself.