Today, I woke up to 15 texts from my mom, 6 missed calls, and with no bra or shirt on in a random guy's bed. Welcome to spring break, ladies and gentleman. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family for spring break, only to realize that I'd left my phone in my apartment. After a 2 hour drive back, I discovered my boyfriend with my neighbor. He panicked and pretended to be sleepwalking. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
On the first day of spring break, your one night stand got you: 15 texts from mom, 14 pulsating head pains, 13 cents in your pocket, 12 hours forgotten, 11 inexplicable Snapchats, 10 new sex positions attempted, 9 indentations on your face for sleeping on wrinkled sheets, 8 odors you didn't even know existed, 7 things you forgot to do, 6 missed calls, 5 minutes before mystery guy returns, 4 pairs of boxers on the floor, 3 tangents of thought about how many guys were actually there last night, 2 turtles in the terrarium mystery guys keep on a shelf, and a missing shirt/bra combo stranding you temporarily!
Irakli_1 27
The important thing is to wake up in the same country
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Comments (100)
ollygollymolly 6
Sounds like a freaking wonderful start to spring break! Let your Mom know you're alive, and make sure to use protection :)
amb27 7
Why is shit always about "getting attention"? Shut the **** up. You can do what you like without being "attention seeking", so sit down and stop crying. You do you just be safe.
YFOS_fml 17
yep, **** alert!
mattrd_fml 31
this qualifies as an "MAL" My awesome life!
allforfun 23
Have some respect for yourself!
merryhappy1887 20
You're awesome lol
kissandcontrol01 20
Plot twist, OP is at a relatives house!
javihan 2
Putaaa
KaylaDaniellee 18
We need a follow up
Captain_Debilos_fml 13
you're probably pregnant with AIDS