Today, I woke up to 15 texts from my mom, 6 missed calls, and with no bra or shirt on in a random guy's bed. Welcome to spring break, ladies and gentleman. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I woke up to two text messages from my mother. The first said, "You could've had this for breakfast. How do you like your eggs?" The next text was a picture message of her naked. I think it was meant to be sent to her boyfriend. FML
Today, I woke up next to my girlfriend. I was woken up by my mother breaking into my house to tell me I need to get ready for work. Then she got mad that I had a girl over. I'm 20. FML
Today, I went to bed with a bra on. I woke up with no bra on. My brother had a friend sleep over last night. I wonder where my bra went. FML
Today, I joined my friends out birthday clubbing. After I'd gotten a little drunk, a few guys asked for my number. I rattled off random numbers, until I accidentally said my mother's. Guess who woke up to a text at 2:17 in the morning, containing a picture of a penis. FML
Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML
Today, I was sleeping with my boyfriend and woke up in his arms to hear him say "Mom, Mom." FML
Today, I woke up to the sound of someone having sex in the room next to me. I don't have a roommate. Turns out my mom thought I was out of town and used her extra key to bring a guy over for sex. FML
Today, I woke up to my mom washing the dishes completely naked. Sadly, I was more surprised by the fact she was doing the dishes than the fact that that she was strutting about in her birthday suit. FML
Today, I came home to visit my family for spring break, only to realize that I'd left my phone in my apartment. After a 2 hour drive back, I discovered my boyfriend with my neighbor. He panicked and pretended to be sleepwalking. FML
Today, I woke up next to a beautiful, half-naked brunette in my bed. Two minutes later, my alarm clock woke me up for real. FML
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Top comments
Tripartita 45
On the first day of spring break, your one night stand got you: 15 texts from mom, 14 pulsating head pains, 13 cents in your pocket, 12 hours forgotten, 11 inexplicable Snapchats, 10 new sex positions attempted, 9 indentations on your face for sleeping on wrinkled sheets, 8 odors you didn't even know existed, 7 things you forgot to do, 6 missed calls, 5 minutes before mystery guy returns, 4 pairs of boxers on the floor, 3 tangents of thought about how many guys were actually there last night, 2 turtles in the terrarium mystery guys keep on a shelf, and a missing shirt/bra combo stranding you temporarily!
Irakli_1 27
The important thing is to wake up in the same country
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Comments (100)
NicoTaylor1005 19
Notice she said "gentleMAN," singular, because when it comes to Spring Break, there's really only one in each group. xD
manuwish 9
did you use protection? :(( be safe
mrbman 3
You sure as **** better not say you didn't consent in a few days.
neuronerd 29
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
The disturbing thing is, most colleges had spring break a few weeks ago, so OP is probably a high school student. I guess her being so young explains why her mom was freaking out. I'm so glad I was a loser in high school, so I avoided that kind of mess.
Comrox 19
I'm in college and my spring break ends today.
yerawizardlizzy 27
Spring breaks are pretty spread out. Part of it depends on what type of term your school has.
Suaria 38
My best friend is a college freshman like me and her spring break ends today.
Jayms_fml 32
I attend two community colleges. Spring Break for one college starts next Monday and the other college's spring break starts the week after that.
moocowmilk0 19
Thats your fault doe
superspy3214 16
You got yourself into this so no sympathy from me whatsoever
NostalgiaFreak9 43
So are you blaming your actions on spring break? That's your own fault.
waleedma 18
FML????? Sound like a great night!
diego92 13
High goals in life, huh?
pedinhuh 23
Look at all those morality fuckwads around here. It's spring break and she had a one night stand, so as did many of you here once in your life atleast. As long as you or your partner played it safe and sound, it's no big deal.
Lefty_Guns 16
I don't think it's the one night stand people have issues with, it's the fact that the story implies that she has no clue what went on, and had family members desperately worried about her. If you get so drunk that you aren't sure what went on, then chances are you weren't in conrtol the night before, and you could have ended up in a dangerous situation. Typically having a safe sex in that situation would also go out of the window. And no, I'm not saying I have never had so much to drink that I woke up without a clue of how I got home, but that's not a safe situation to be in, and is best avoided.
DoomedGemini 38
Some posters might have that concern and I agree with what you're saying, but there's sadly also a bunch of condemning and people looking down on op.
jagott2 8
I don't think the story implies she doesn't know what happened the night before. Prior to reading the comments I interpreted the FML to be about how overprotective her mother is. Actually I still think that is a plausible intent of the FML. College student went out partying, ignored her calls/texts or turned her phone off, hooked up with a guy, then woke up the next morning to dozens of calls/texts from her overprotective mother.