Tanner
Salem, United States
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Numbass123
Las Vegas, United States
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
JustADream
United States
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
hedayk
Bronx, United States
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
pooplife
Nottingham, United Kingdom
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
loveloves154
Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Can't take it anymore
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
Anonymous
United States
Help!
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Maggie
Nice mental image
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
well fuck
Warsaw, Poland
Daily grind
Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML
Top comments
FatelBlade 8
Seems like you're in quite the sticky situation.
zingline89 18
Guess your wife was really fed up with you constantly wetting the bed.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (190)
TehParteh 9
Actually it's what foreveryoung1d said
G206Yound187 0
U pee sitting down? Did u actually shit?!?! I'm sure there was skin left behind!!!Ouch
P374RD3D 9
You, sir, are a dumbass
perdix 31
You need to get nail polish remover. Just make sure you get the kind that has *Lowers sunglasses* Ass-a-tone.
TehParteh 9
How is he going to get it?
TheElderTROLLZ 15
52 - Telekinesis.
perdix 31
#52 -- he's going to take the first few weeks of organic chemistry, then he'll get my pun. Or do you mean how is he going to obtain nail polish remover? Maybe he's in a tiny bathroom within reach of the medicine cabinet. Or maybe someone who needs to use that toilet will get him some.
llamalpaca382 13
Perdix strikes again! *scampers away*
smoshiee 8
*Acetone
linkinpark98 24
This reminds me of that story of some girl who was stuck to her toilet for like 2 years. Don't know where I heard that from, but it sure is stupid. XD Anyways, good luck getting your ass cheeks off that toilet without ripping your skin off.
ByronJess 17
That story made national news. She wasn't just stuck, she chose to sit there for two years because she thought that if she did, her boyfriend wouldn't break up with her. Her skin literally grew around the toilet seat and fused her to it. Why her boyfriend/ex-boyfriend didn't call the cops on her psycho ass before two years was up is beyond me.
Jannettecooks 1
I had completely forgotten about that loony toon! Can you imagine the smell?
linkinpark98 24
Wow, so it was her choice?! Just wow. I can't imagine the smell either. How she thought that was a good idea, is also beyond me. XD
theredheadriot 6
Ow!!!!!!!
guy24 9
How does that even happen? Hope you are wearing clothes.
bigdude1302 2
U fell asleep on a toilet?
LouisianaBob 9
Yes but you'd have to ask someone else about it since op won't remember.
hthelittleone 10
The real question is, is he still stuck?
igese 11
awww, I hate it when that happens....