Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML
Can't take it anymore
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
Help!
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Nice mental image
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
Daily grind
Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML
Top comments
FatelBlade 8
Seems like you're in quite the sticky situation.
zingline89 18
Guess your wife was really fed up with you constantly wetting the bed.
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Comments (190)
tw416 6
Hangover 3?
Grell_Chan 0
Dude lol! Guess whos staying in the bathroom!
capnjack92 0
You must've been partying with other op...he super glued you to your toilet then passed out and forgot where he put you. Be patient its gonna take time for all your buddies to put the clues together
itscuzimshort 0
what end??
neffygamez 6
That bogus!
GothicAngel17 24
59 - That would mean OP uses his phone on the toilet... Yuck!
conholio33 28
If this is true how on earth did u get off????
perdix 31
Considering he's stuck on the toilet with time on his hands, I'll bet he used standard manual masturbation.
iLucero 11
The Hangover Part 3? Retrace your steps!
LaughinStock 16
Wait 66 you don't? Am I the only weird one here who uses their phone while on the toilet? :-/
asherm 15
At least there wasn't a tiger in there...
terrask 11
The real question here is: was it tucked in at least?
False_Stupidity 42
Things could get real messy if it isn't...