Mr Annandale, USA 36 years-old Single
Today, after being stood up at a diner, I called the girl who was supposed to have met me. Turns out, she thought I was kidding when I asked her out. FML
Today, I went to a really important job interview. During it, I accidentally let out a burp, came down with nervous hiccups, and when I tried to quietly ease out some painful gas that was building up, it came out as a massive, rancid fart. I'll definitely be unemployed for a while yet. FML
Today, my body-building addiction hit a whole new level when I begged my friend to sell me her breast milk. FML
Today, I pretended to be deaf to a door to door salesman. He knew sign language. FML
Today, I passed my math test with flying colors. My dad thought I had cheated, so he emailed the school and told them that I had. They lowered my grade. FML
Today, I heard that there was supposed to be a huge blizzard heading our way, so I went out to stock up on groceries. After spending $600 on food, I drove home and packed most of it into the fridge and freezer just in time for our power to go out. FML
Today, I had to call a plumber out to clear a blockage in our bathroom drainpipe. After coming back from work later in the day, and after a tearful confession from my wife, I found out that pipe wasn't the only one he snaked. FML
Today, my mom showed my girlfriend a picture of me crying when I pooped in the bathtub. FML
Today, I had to explain to my pregnant friend that her plan to get drunk and get a tattoo needed to wait at least 8 months. She then went out for a smoke to calm down. FML
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