Today, I was sitting on the train when some crazy man started talking to me. I ignored him, and he tapped on my shoulder. He started blabbing and I just pointed to my ears and mouthed, "I'm deaf." He stopped talking. A minute later my phone rang and I answered it without thinking. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was sitting on a bus. I'm deaf. An old lady looked very angry at me and started talking. Then she looked like she was screaming. I had to type on my phone that I'm deaf. Apparently, I'd been stepping on her foot. She decided to poke me in the eye and type, "Now you're blind too." FML
Today, while waiting for my train, I was listening to a voicemail message on my phone. Out of nowhere, a stranger came up to me from behind and screamed "DELETE!" into my ear. His voice command deleted my message. FML
Today, I was texting a guy that one of my friends told me about. She gave me his number and told me about how he was deaf. Three hours into great conversation I forgot and asked him what his favorite music was. FML
Today, I was walking to school with my earphones in, when someone tapped me on the shoulder. I was shocked, and whirled around to hit him in the crotch. I soon realized he was just trying to return the commuter pass I'd dropped at the station. FML
Today, I was at the airport, when a lady came up and loudly asked if she could sit next to me. I have serious social issues, so to avoid having to talk to her, I pretended I was deaf and couldn't hear her. She immediately broke out her sign language skills. FML
Today, a guy on the train was using his phone really loudly, asking Siri to call a bunch of people, or using voice command to do the most menial things. He was really, really noisy. It's only after I couldn't stand it any more and asked him to be quieter that I noticed the white cane next to him. FML
Today, I forgot what I was doing while listening to a voicemail and started talking back to it. FML
Today, I pretended to be on the phone to avoid small talk with someone from my building. I spoke loudly into the phone while walking by them. My phone rang in the middle of my fake conversation. FML
Today, I was on a packed bus when my phone rang. I tried to answer, but my wired earbuds got tangled. I tugged too hard, yanking my phone out of my hand. It flew forward, smacked a man in the forehead, then bounced into a stranger’s coffee cup. FML
Today, I was quietly reading in the subway, when all of a sudden, at a station, the man sitting next to me stood up, slapped me, yelled "Bitch!", and rushed off the train. FML
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Top comments
Rathmec 0
I guess faking a serious impairment is always okay.
DameGreyWulf 1
Don't be such a jerk. For all you know... he was telling you the secret of life! Dun dun dun... But no seriously, that plan was doomed to fail in some form.
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Comments (156)
Manutdfan539 0
Lol nice one. And 1st?
drzhottie148 0
LOL YEAh
bloodthorn 4
YDI for having a ******
KillaKingPerrie 4
Deaf people are being such ******* right now jesus christ STFU!
Rabbits 0
This is wen u say "it's a miracle!" :)
mystomachurts 3
The phone also could have been on vibrate. How would he know?
sostupid_fml 0
that is what I was thinking
Shesonfire94 2
the problem isn't tht op knew someone is calling, it is tht the op could listen to the person on the other line haha
Thabb 0
Say it was the vibrating feature. Well, you should probably mouth it
kirbygowoosh 0
cuz hed prolly har the person on the other line?
storm777 0
104 that's halerious. that sounds like something from I love Lucy
MiSTERmAttt 0
u probly don't even play football
joqez 0
-.- the problem isn't the ringtone. please tell me: how can you talk on the phone if you're deaf?? it would be a pretty much one way convo
MrSmOkEwEeD451 2
#114 she could say its on vibrate
leesh85k 0
Yeah totally...lololol
Hiawassee 9
The problem is that they were talking on the phone . They could obviously hear the person on the other end, then .
jairolover 25
accept... they answered and LISTENED to the other person on the phone lol.
ily_hun996 0
FIIIIIIIIIIIIRSSSSSST
slabee123 0
that kinda sucks. would've been genius though.
selenes 0
no, it wouldn't have. because faking impairment makes you an asshole, not a genius.
decibel_beads 0
i have to agree with selenes.
ImaBmyLonurTees 0
Yeah YDI for being a bitch. You should have just told him u didn't feel like talking. I hope you are stricken deaf.
sarcasm_ftw 0
you guys are so hostile to someone who didn't want to talk to someone on a train, so what if she said she was deaf that doesn't mean you need to call her names
ReasonsToFly 0
She was probably just trying to be nice, you're all the ones who are bitches if you were to say "I don't give a shit". Also, if you think about it in real life, that would be HILARIOUS, like something out of The Simpsons.
athiest_pope 0
idiot
slushpup9696 12
why did you mouth it? you're deaf, not a mute
steveakafranxy 7
deaf people "unlearn" how to talk after a while, because they can't hear themselves
FranticLol101 11
Deaf people don't really speak to well. As they've never heard anyone speak.
rafaelaugusto94 0
the crazy train!
quarterback 0
haha good one!
boatkicker 5
See you should have just ignored him. then you wouldnt have gotten caught in a lie. lol. silly.
Rathmec 0
I guess faking a serious impairment is always okay.
Mydeadrose 1
you ****, how do you think that makes the deaf people feel. im deaf. and that guy is a bloody wanker, ******* asshole. you people who think this was a good idea or think its nice need to go suck a big meaty black **** while you have an mace up your ******* asshole. YDI ******.
Jazzywrites007 2
Deadrose shut the **** up. He was being sarcastic. You're deaf, not blind. So What's your excuse for shitty comprehension????
daarlingdamsel 0
Calm the **** down. I know a lot of Deaf people and for the record if you were really Deaf chances are you would spell it with a big 'D' because those are generally the people who care about this shit, unless you are deaf with a little 'd' in which case you most likely wouldn't give a flying **** about this. Chances are you aren't Deaf at all, you are just a dumbass.
laurlaurs 0
Capitalizing a letter doesn't mean you care.
lilibette_fml 0
she was trying to get out of an uncomfortable situation by pretending to be deaf. perhaps she could have done it better, but it really was not a big deal. so while she has an excuse, there is no excuse for your rudeness. at all. (this is in response to ... deadrose was it?)
DameGreyWulf 1
Don't be such a jerk. For all you know... he was telling you the secret of life! Dun dun dun... But no seriously, that plan was doomed to fail in some form.
SuperSpore 0
Or if there was life after death?
SpitFyre 0
Remember, higher powers often appear in unexpected guises. You would do well to listen. Seriously, you could have come up with something better than "I'm deaf." Just pretend to listen, smile and nod. Or just ask him politely to be quiet. Or, if you're not in the mood for manners, tell him to **** off.
ADOG2645 17
Everyone all ready knows it, it's 42. (Please tell me that you get that reference)
lol123mely 0
that was mean of you! lol xD
ohhsaam_ 0
lmfao. nice one.