Tanner
Salem, United States
Today, I woke up super glued to the toilet. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Numbass123
Las Vegas, United States
Today, I was glued to the toilet all day, gushing fountains of crap, due to my own bad cooking. It got so bad that I ran out of toilet paper and had to desperately jump in the shower and stay there for nearly two hours. I can't even feel my own asshole any more. FML
JustADream
United States
Today, I woke up and went to the bathroom and took a massive piss. Then I actually woke up, well and truly soaked. FML
hedayk
Bronx, United States
Today, I woke up so hungover that when I went to the bathroom and caught sight of myself in the mirror, I screamed, slipped backwards, and smashed my head against the rim of my bathtub. FML
pooplife
Nottingham, United Kingdom
Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
loveloves154
Today, our toilet overflowed during the night. Over 50 gallons worth leaked through the floor and the ceiling to the room below. I am now covered in poop water. What a way to start the day. FML
Anonymous
This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff
United States
Can't take it anymore
Today, my toilet decided it wouldn't take any more shit from me, and flooded the bathroom. FML
Anonymous
United States
Help!
Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML
Anonymous
United Kingdom
Today, I had a terrible stomach bug. I quickly jumped off the toilet and crouched over the bowl. I vomited with such force that I splashed the shitty water back into my face. FML
Maggie
Nice mental image
Today, I had no choice but to unclog a toilet with my bare hands. FML
well fuck
Warsaw, Poland
Daily grind
Today, I got home from working 14 hours straight, went to take a dump, and fell asleep on the toilet. I woke up later on the floor, covered in shit and piss, with my alarm going off, an hour before I was due back at work. FML
Top comments
FatelBlade 8
Seems like you're in quite the sticky situation.
zingline89 18
Guess your wife was really fed up with you constantly wetting the bed.
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Comments (190)
SydMadrid 0
You've Made A New Best Friend
Honestly_Lainey 21
First, I'd like to say I don't really understand your comment. Second, when trying to make sense of your comment, I thought that maybe you meant OP's new BFF glued him/her to the toilet, then I thought "no... Friends don't do that." Then I thought maybe you meant the toilet, but then I thought "no... Friends don't shit on each other..." so that couldn't have been it. And after all that, I decided I'd leave a useless, long ass comment... Aaaand I'm now back at square one: no idea what the hell you were trying to say...
ohmandapants 17
Why Does Every Word Begin With A Capital Letter? I'll never understand why people do this shit. It takes MORE EFFORT to do the wrong thing than to just type properly.
BeaterOfTheDrums 15
"hello. I want to play a game."
ycrem0n 21
^ The new Jigsaw, nice mask
MeLuvBewbs 7
Now just need to get more toilet paper...
GothicAngel17 24
Bit hard to use it when your butt is glued to the seat, though.
br0ccoli 15
You know you need rehab when...
abstractxart 0
how did you even fall asleep like that?
scarletchamber 0
it took me sooo fckin long 2 comment im so pissed
br0ccoli 15
Next time, just click on the arrow button. It's the FML sweet spot.
scarletchamber 0
thy didn't work but now it did
laurenobrien 4
Your so dumbbb (itskaylabitch)
Justforlolz 14
126- It's "you're" and "dumb". Looks like both of you need to go back to Elementary school ELA.
TheElderTROLLZ 15
Hey, at least you don't have to wait take a shit. (If there's another person, that is)
GothicAngel17 24
But he can't wipe, unfortunately for him.
Calyx_fml 22
Did your legs fall asleep too?
xXxIracebethxXx 14
That's what she said.
wertheworld 3
Wow how'd u get off??