Today, I was riding my scooter and humming a tune while doing so. It happened to be the tune you hear at weddings. I got married to the garage door. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, my band informed me that our gig this afternoon was actually a wedding. Whose wedding? My ex-wife's, along with the guy she cheated on me with. For their first dance, I had to sing what used to be our song. FML
Today, I got caught singing '80s hair metal love ballads to myself in the car by the object of my affection. FML
Today, I was alone in the kitchen doing the dishes, and I started singing along to my favorite song when it came on my playlist. However, unbeknownst to me, my neighbors were having a barbecue next door, and they cheered and applauded when I'd finished. I’m never singing again. FML
Today, I was driving through my neighborhood when I heard a siren. I looked into my rear view mirror and saw a motorcycle, so I pulled over. The motorcycle drove by, and it turned out to be an old lady with a leather jacket. The siren was in a song on the radio. FML
Today, my worst fears were realized as an insect pinged off the back of my mouth while I was singing along to the radio on my motorcycle. FML
Today, while driving to work in heavy traffic, I got so into the song I was listening to that I tapped my foot on the gas to the beat. I rear-ended the car in front of me. FML
Today, I left messages in every neighbors' mailbox telling them to please be quiet at 2, as my daughter was getting married in my backyard. At 2:01 someone started practicing the drums in their garage. FML
Today, after pulling up to my girlfriend's house for dinner with her parents, one of my favorite songs begin to play on the radio. After my 3 minutes of air drumming, I look up to see my girlfriend and her parents bouncing with laughter. FML
Today, I was re-watching my wedding video. As I was walking down the aisle, you could hear my grandfather mutter "Here comes the bride, all fat and wide." FML
Today, I was playing piano for a wedding rehearsal. Bored, I decided to pass the time playing through a book of music I found in the piano bench. Some time later the bride turned to me and screamed at me to stop. I had turned the page and had begun to play "Let's Call The Whole Thing Off." FML
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Top comments
ojoRojo 27
That’s not how it works...
Sumus125 17
I'm assuming that kissing your new life partner translated to a sudden impact with it?
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Comments (5)
ojoRojo 27
That’s not how it works...
cuz803 46
If you can can find love and happiness with your garage through marriage, I wish you a happy marriage, OP. Love is love.
Sumus125 17
I'm assuming that kissing your new life partner translated to a sudden impact with it?
BurnInDemonFire 39
Any faster and your family would have been humming the funeral dirge. As it is, they're probably still laughing at you.
thatswhatshesaid 3
This fml and the comments gave me a good laugh 🤣