Today, I sat down for a poop. The toilet seat slid off immediately, taking me with it. I lay on the bathroom floor for a moment, stunned, still pooping. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, while I was on the toilet, my cat managed to climb up behind me, slip and then grip itself to my bare ass. In my haste to get away from the cat, I pooped on the toilet without noticing. Until I sat back down. FML
Today, during an emergency bathroom visit, I finally broke the toilet seat my fiance had nagged me for months to replace. The broken seat sent me sprawling to the floor. I was still shitting. FML
Today, after speeding home due to an overflowing bladder, I ran to the bathroom, forgetting that the toilet seat was broken. While doing my business, the toilet seat and I both slid off the bowl. FML
Today, I was taking the biggest shit of my life. When I worked the thing out, it hit the water with such force that I got a toilet water enema from the backwash. I was so freaked out that I screamed and fell off the seat, prompting my husband to rush in to see what was wrong. FML
Today, I went in for an interview. While I was waiting to be called, I used the restroom. When I stood up to wipe, I slipped on the floor and fell ass first into the unflushed toilet. I was found an hour later, covered in my own shit and too injured to move. FML
Today, I had to shit worse than I thought possible at work. I left my desk and hurried towards the bathroom, dropping trou as soon as the door closed. I then tripped over my pant leg, hit my head on the toilet, and came to some minutes later with my ass spewing diarrhea like a volcano. FML
Today, my 3-year-old came to me very excited because he had gone to the bathroom by himself for the first time. What he did not tell me was that he had shit on the floor, and when I went into the bathroom to check, I slipped on a turd and knocked myself out on the sink. FML
Today, I was taking a dump and I pushed so hard that I got light headed and passed out on the floor. FML
Today, I had explosive diarrhea. I got off the toilet to change my 3 year-old's poopy diaper. He was being stubborn, so I was going to go back to the toilet, which is when he laid down. I thought I could do it. I couldn't. He ran around diaperless as I ran back to the toilet with liquid shit running down my leg. FML
Today. I used the restroom at the mall. After I wiped, I went to toss the paper into the toilet. I missed horribly. The wad of TP with poop on it landed on the floor of the next stall. It was occupied. FML
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Top comments
lambda_fml 40
Holy shit!
cakefete2 31
That's extra funny given your profile pic. Btw, do you Noah guy who can fix OP's toilet seat?
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Comments (78)
lambda_fml 40
Holy shit!
cakefete2 31
That's extra funny given your profile pic. Btw, do you Noah guy who can fix OP's toilet seat?
garrett_8614 14
That shit cray
reno_911 5
this is exactly why i no longer trust toilet seats. shifty eye scheming bastards
jerryj 27
Hope your balls are OK!
nickob96 25
Maybe op is a girl? Girls poop too you know...
SystemofaBlink41 27
Nonsense!
badluckalex 23
I dont see how this would have any effect on ops balls, if op is a guy
brittyboo123 35
26, I'm a girl and I completely understand how it would hurt...think about it.
JMichael 26
Well you had to go one way or another.
Sports_guy3 28
Speaking of had to go, I heard about this video of a girl ******** herself while twerking. PM me if u want the link
killerdana 19
Wow 58. I think we're good
keiNan_fml 35
holy crap!!
cherry_popper69 11
I hope he wiped well
Zeishah 26
Pick yourself up! Its a shitty day not a shitty life.
toshimahalaketa 6
talk about a shitty situation
drayloon 50
please stop.
people_annoy_me 23
#17 Hey, don't be rude. I thought it was really punny.
ileenefudge 29
Sorry but it's over used too much by people. It's really not that funny anymore.
MrConcise 35
Don't like it? Bury and move on, no need to out yourself as a douchebag.
WoldowJR 25
Every comment in this thread sucks.
jbombdighetty 11
I still laugh every time.
ErinRosado 14
I guess poop-related FMLs wouldn't quite be the same without this pun. Maybe we've got to ask ourselves if we really need to flush it out of the system.
zBLAKEz 23
This makes me think of how annoying it is when you place down one of those paper toilet seat covers on a public toilet, and because it's an automatic toilet it just automatically flushes, taking the seat cover with it.
Mauskau 36
What a waste of paper, just squat.
onlychildFTW 34
Or wear diapers! Get some cloth ones and be eco friendly! Or, make sure the seat is properly fastened before sitting to poop.
ShadowPsychosis 4
#9 But it's the squatters who cause the problem in the first place. Never in my life have i ever peed or crapped on a toilet seat by sitting on it like a normal person would. It's the inconsiderate people who hover over the public toilet who end up splashing urine and feces on the seat, the cistern, the floor etc. It is also actually bad for you, the position you hold your body in to squat pee over a "western" toilet prevents full emptying of the bladder, you can actually retain around 30% of the bladder contents, which at the least is inconvenient because you'll need to go again that much sooner, maybe even cause a UTI.
YoursAlways98 13
Ew that's awful! Bet that ruined your whole day, sorry OP
Donutsarelife 12
ok OP I think its time to go to bed...
Zacky_Chan 22
Seems like a....Shitty situation (Ba dum tsk) :D