Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
DinosaursAreCool_fml 8
That's nasty (Cleveland voice)
shellzy 20
Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.
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Comments (371)
ikickgingers 15
What would Doc suggest??
bigAC 6
Tyler, the Creator?
2ndSucks 15
I don't even know where to start.. You'd have to eat a cockroach to throw it up.. And you find it normal to gag yourself every tine you brush your teeth?
G0t4acked 8
Actually, if you sleep with your mouth open, bugs can crawl into it. And some people gag if the back of their tongue is sensitive.
socoolsophie 4
You normally throw up a little while brushing your tongue? uh you don't have to jam it down your throat...
mkitn 0
That's rather disgusting.
alpacamybooks 11
WHAAAAAAAAAAAAT?! I don't think I've ever been more horrified and disgusted in my life.
hiLife808 0
Oh GOD that's terrible op! I f*****n hate roaches. I would drink a bottle of listerine just to sanitize my mouth and throat.
hobojo69 23
O my god I would feel like so violated! Ewwww!!
mattlovemom 2
Drink all of your mouth wash for us. Now.
summerstarr 0
On average a person swallows about 7 spider and other creepy crawlies while your sleeping.
summerstarr 0
Per year
Zomg_Okay 27
I was a lot happier not knowing that. :P
marpay 11
It's never been studied let alone proven that we eat bugs in our sleep. Probably shouldn't believe everything you read on the Internet.
troll_905 1
its a lie