Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was eating a bowl of cereal and noticed something float to the top. On closer inspection, it turned out to be a mouse turd. I had already eaten half the bowl. FML
Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I bit into a cereal bar and thought the inside was oddly damp. I took a look at it and saw a maggot worm wriggling around. Its friend was in my mouth. FML
Today, I absent-mindedly poured the putrid water from the sink’s air trap into the sink that I'd just removed the air trap out of, and flooded the cupboard I then had to crawl into. FML
Today, I bought a Santa hat. After wearing the hat for a few hours, I noticed a strange lump near the tip of it. I stuck my hand inside to dig out the mysterious object. It was a dead cockroach. FML
Today, my three-year-old decided to dump the entire contents of her cereal box onto the kitchen floor because she was looking for a "prize." The only prize we found was a huge dead cockroach, which she promptly stuck in her mouth. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
CATastroph1c 22
Well, put that sink to good use and wash your hands as much as you can
Nathan_Henry 15
At least it wasn't alive
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (35)
Nathan_Henry 15
At least it wasn't alive
gamermonster 34
If there's one, there are more around.
riyaap13 17
Actually, it could've been alive because cockroaches can live up to a week without its head :)
dVwarfare 15
Yet OP said it was in half, that's more than its head...
CATastroph1c 22
Well, put that sink to good use and wash your hands as much as you can
MrsPine 17
You're braver than I am. Kudos.
Bearamber9210 19
Time to call an exterminator!!!
lambda_fml 40
You mean Arnold Schwarzanigger?
CrazyManNo9 29
The cockroach won't mind. He'll just regenerate the other half. :)
UserDoesNotExist 12
If burn the house down! ?
Arkham_Callabero 15
I'm sorry, what?
HannahLastedxoxo 10
gonna assume they meant "I'd" but their phone auto-corrected to if and they didn't realise. Mine makes the same correction a lot of the time
Shay_Shay97 23
See, now I always use a fork or something if I need to unclog the disposal for THAT exact reason.
tranced_ 45
that scene usually scares the shit out of me in horror movies..
Cyrus00 41
Maybe if you would have left it the cockroach would have eaten the blueberry.
blucorsa 15
There's something called a garbage disposal, you know.