Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
DinosaursAreCool_fml 8
That's nasty (Cleveland voice)
shellzy 20
Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (371)
theroustons 6
That coach roach is a dick!!
sappy0 5
Seriously?! Did you really think we needed to know THAT?! I could've gone the rest of my life without having read that! Wth?!
BballHottie34 9
SAME HERE!
crownlogic 25
Ughhh, reading this FML and all the comments now makes me want to clean everything around me and go shower again.
BballHottie34 9
how could it be??
BballHottie34 9
*alive
talynnlewis 13
Like usual? You always throw up while brushing your teeth? #yuck
Skipper1439 1
wait like usual wasn't that kinda a hint or somethin
ahiddengoddess 9
Eww that's nasty I bet it crawled in your mouth while you were asleep
Calen5556 0
I haven't eaten all day and suddenly i'm not hungry.
legitney 0
No thank you.
TuLegit 4
I could have gone my entire life without picturing that in my mind. FYL seriously!