Today, I woke up, showered, and began brushing my teeth. When I started to brush my tongue I gagged, like usual, and threw up a little. What's unusual? I threw up a cockroach. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I got up in the middle of the night to get a glass of water. I felt something get caught in my throat so I coughed and spluttered a bit. When I turned on the lights I discovered I'd coughed up a cockroach. FML
Today, I woke up with a cockroach in my ear. FML
Today, I was drinking lemon juice through a straw. After finishing half of the drink, I noticed there was a cockroach in my straw. FML
Today, I was expecting lizards, spiders, and weird local insects in my hotel room. What I got was a cockroach on my toothbrush. A very tiny cockroach. FML
Today, I was stuck on the toilet with a huge stomachache after eating bad food the day before. I got up to flush when I noticed that there was a cockroach struggling feebly in the pile of crap. I'll never know if it got there before or after I crapped. FML
Today, I was getting ready for my first day at work. Right before leaving the house I brushed my teeth thoroughly one more time to have a fresh breath. While cleaning my tongue, I went too far, which made me throw up. I was 20 minutes late for work. Good start. FML
Today, I found a roach in my takeaway. I found it after I felt something hard in my mouth and spat pieces of it back out onto my plate. FML
Today, I woke up with a dead cockroach and its guts all over my forehead. My boyfriend responded by laughing and saying "Poor guy, never had a chance to see the world." FML
Today, I coughed so much I threw up, then whilst recovering from throwing up, a fly flew into my mouth and I ate it. I then promptly threw up again. FML
Today, I was dumping some old milk in the sink and noticed it wasn't going down. Assuming food was clogging the drain, I stuck my hand down in it to remove the food. I removed a blueberry and half a cockroach. FML
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Top comments
DinosaursAreCool_fml 8
That's nasty (Cleveland voice)
shellzy 20
Oh god...I just threw up a little. Cockroach free at least.
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Comments (371)
kimmy05 0
Wow thats horrible!
joemartin4214 4
Ummmm. WTF. You must have swallowed that thing in your sleep. Thats gross. But, when it comes to cockroaches... When you see one out and about, that means you are infested. Better get that checked or move the hell out. Omg. I'm sorry OP.
naomii776 7
Eww not cool You need to call a exterminater
DeeG12 0
Wtf did you do last night???
SockMonkey333 0
Omg that's disgusting! Cockroaches are nasty I hate them!
SadSadKidd 1
The cockroaches side: Last night at a party some drunk bastard ate me I had to survive in his intestines for 12 hours.until he puked me this morning. FML
KiddNYC1O 22
Did it drop little reels of tape to remind you that you're alone?
alsexychick 3
DAMN!!!! That's gross. I do not want to know how it ended up in your mouth!
JiggyBoo123 11
You should have swallowed the recommended 8 spiders in your sleep. They would have made a web and killed the cockroach. ...Also, you're not supposed to gag when you brush your teeth. What, are you brushing your tonsils?
floatguy 2
I guess u won't be sleeping with your mouth open anymore... & maybe some cotton for your ears too!!! Lol