Today, my husband and I were getting intimate when a notification for a game popped up on his iPad. He immediately shoved me aside so he could take care of his baby dragon. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I realized that my husband has a video games addiction. I am currently pregnant; he brought us to the same country he's in so we can finally live together, only for me to witness him being glued to his laptop all day and all night playing WoW. He's forgotten I even existed. FML
Today, my husband got angry and stormed out of the house because he claims I wasn't pressing the buttons he told me to while playing Pokemon. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed when the alarm on his phone went off. He then told me that he had to 'sound the horn' and went over to his laptop. Wondering what that meant, I peered over at his laptop. It turns out hunting for mice on Facebook is more important than procreating. FML
Today, my husband and I were in bed, and just as I was about to finish he screamed, "Oh shit! It's 4:15, my strawberries are gonna whither!!!!" and then jumped off me and went to check on his farm on FarmVille. An imaginary farm, on Facebook. FML
Today, I was using my iPad for a presentation. I locked it and left it connected to the projector while I prepared to present. When I turned around to begin, I realized there had been a push notification from Groupon asking if I was still interested in a dildo. FML
Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML
Today, my husband returned from being away for two weeks. I eagerly got myself ready and sent him a risqué picture so he would come to bed. An hour later, he's on the couch playing Xbox with the message already seen. FML
Today, when my boyfriend said it was time to play with his baby, I figured he was talking about me. He meant his Xbox. FML
Today, I called my fiancé just to tell him how much I love him, as a sweet gesture. He yelled at me for interrupting his video game and blamed my "neediness" on the fact that I'm menstruating. FML
Today, I felt frisky, so I did my hair and put on make-up and some lingerie. I walked into the living room, where my husband was playing a video game. He glanced up, said, "Oh, for fuck's sake." and made me wait nearly 15 minutes for him to reach a save-game point. FML
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Top comments
chickenwalrus 14
Baby dragon > sex?
stfu_bam 5
Uh hello! We gotta take care of our dragons! Psh people these days just don't understand. Side note - What level is he on?
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Comments (248)
chickenwalrus 14
Baby dragon > sex?
Blazingcrono 6
Hell yes. I'd take a fire-breathing, bone crunching, flying creature over a raging, hormonal, crazy woman any day.
CoolStoryScrote 6
Always
HowAreYouToday 34
I agree too, but #9 sounds forever alone
kwchambers92 10
How about sex, on a dragon! You win twice
LiveLaughFML 10
why don't you and your husband MAKE baby dragons? ;-)
MrBoredGuy 1
Maybe he calls his dick "his baby dragon" That's what I do
EvilPotato 15
MeBoredMan I am worried for you. Your husbands a boss, he's got his priorities first.
FreshlyCut 0
What a heated situation.
DoubleDose 0
Looks like you need to be out buying a dragon suit, instead of on fml
Fx13mz 7
34- You should watch the Gerard Butler version of Beowulf. It's a lot better than the lame CGI version.
murlocholmes 5
You guys don't understand... He was indirectly trying to tell OP that he's great father material and that he's ready to have his own ki... OMFG MY DRAGON EGG IS HATCHING!!!
guckylynn 19
34 Beowulf is an epic poem. Not a book.
Keyman1212 14
If I were OP, I'd make it very clear that he is welcome to Fap to his baby dragon, because I wouldn't be putting out anytime soon after he pulled that shit.
tona01 16
Hey dragonvale is awesome!!
MattRoseen 12
9- You don't seem like you get many women at all..
tonz82 2
Well sadly 92 neither do you.
bizarre_ftw 22
I just tripped and almost fell with my phone in my hand and the app up, when I stood up the first comment was typed in a comment box as though I'd typed it. Can anyone explain this? I'm rather confused
shootintacos 0
bizarre, it's a poltergeist!
skata 4
kids gotta come first
dejavu42 0
id go with sex......in opposite land
GarciaSwaqgg 3
******... xD
imustbeinsane 2
118 - you must have hit reply and then the button on the bottom right of the text box that says "show me the comment". At least thats how it is on the ipod app
Palirose 22
Something tells me he was playing the app DragonVale.....how do I know? Because I pretty much do the same thing her husband does. -.- im fail. Yes I know.
omgthatsosuppera 4
At least they only got a virtual baby dragon to deal with stead of a real one
Manganimegrl 16
Lol I have that game
stfu_bam 5
Uh hello! We gotta take care of our dragons! Psh people these days just don't understand. Side note - What level is he on?
DrDilllonReese 12
The level with no sex.
PunkSk8ter 0
that's a bad lvl :/
lifesucks1234567_fml 2
HAHAHAHA I have that game but seriously!? I would never go that far wtf
DrDilllonReese 12
I actually went and bought the game after reading this FML. Fun, but not worth passing up sex.
IKickPuppiesHard 16
I'm about to go buy it now. no sex here I come!
datoismyname 22
#94 obviously you do not love your baby dragon!
SwaggerMelon 6
The game is DragonVale.
DrDilllonReese 12
Yeah... We saw that in the FML...
MagicallyFat 12
169. My FML doesn't say dragonvale…
ChrisTheCalm 9
DragonVale.. That's just another word for abstinence lol
stfu_bam 5
Then how come I'm not a virgin? I play dragonvale :)
majorbob10 0
Ignore social life - Acquire dragons
HowAreYouToday 34
Your pic is so fitting, it's scary o.O
SystemofaBlink41 27
One must always take time to take care his/her baby dragon
DontModMeDammit 10
Disregard females, acquire currency.
srhsrhsrh 0
lmao ya boy reference...
borkchop1992 15
sex
ZeDolphinator 7
Thank you. I had no idea what this FML was about until you helpfully told me.
You_Need_Soap 6
Yes please! Oh wait...
bizarre_ftw 22
No you may not have any, there is a minimum requirement of IQ points, specifically 5, which you do not meet. Thank you for trying now please leave, or I will taser you :)
NHLbound22 8
DON'T TASE ME BRO!
bballsoccerrocks 7
iPad always is bad? Maybe you should have put it away. He is really stupid. Sorry OP
tona01 16
Says the person that can't write properly
bizarre_ftw 22
* write or think
bballsoccerrocks 7
Idiots. It was on purpose. Wow. You can't think
tona01 16
133 are you pulling a chantelownz? And by chantelownz you mean putting excuses to cover your own stupidity, thus making you look worse. Because i don't see how your "joke" is related in any way to the FML.
bballsoccerrocks 7
The world is full of idiots. Like everyone who writes am FML
bballsoccerrocks 7
The world is full of idiots. Like everyone who writes am FML
bryanorange 3
Wow double fail jaja dumbass
Soloman212 28
Just gives me a chance to thumb him down twice for one stupid comment.
balzackgoo 3
Or like people who double post...
bballsoccerrocks 7
Anytime, idiots
bballsoccerrocks 7
Anytime, idiots
bballsoccerrocks 7
Anytime, idiots
bballsoccerrocks 7
Anytime, idiots
Garyy_fml 11
So 165 apparently you've attempted to an idiot 4 times or so your profile shows.
bryanorange 3
Jaja triple fail who quads a comment dumb ass pendejo Ps your a puto face
Red7646 0
Lead the dragon to your cave?
WowUStupid 0
He'll be a good father when you get pregnant.
TheRealBruce 12
Oh noo!
LolAtYourFail 12
^ I can do his voice almost perfectly
LolAtYourFail 12
Sorry if this repeats twice, blame the fml app
amylily123 9
Lol a virtual mythical creature is worth more than you.
SUEHIM 0
Dragons are real you ****
ammmeor 4
I am buying that app now
Feklfekl2222 32
Cute and as wrinkly as an eighty year old
cookiemonsterluv_fml 0
Whoa, I thought that was a pig.
bballsoccerrocks 7
iPad always is bad? Maybe you should have put it away. He is really stupid. Sorry OP