Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Poor pillow
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Lock your doors
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Going at it
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
False alarm
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Top comments
awuh_man 0
haha that sucks was it hot?
Dboy23 0
LMFAO! Horny little bugger are we?
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Comments (183)
hotissue 0
your mom is weird i think i would be kinda disturbed and walk away
dougriss 0
I bet u were dreaming of her. And #21 thats wierd as hell
mmmyeahsaraa 0
yeah wtf? ur mom is a tiny bit on the freaky sideeee lmaoo
Monado 0
How does someone wake up finding themselves humping pillow? Was he just sleep walking or what?
isodufff 0
that is the best one i've ever heard.
maddog_fml 0
Haha! Nice one. Tip: Next time try a girl or woman.
Lovely_Loser 0
oooooooooh this made me laugh so hard. i once had a boyfriend who would hump my leg in his sleep... it would wake me up in the night......
Crunchy_fml 0
Your boyfriend was a dog?
Maddoctor 10
Haha aren't all boyfriends? Jk, jk.
Danieeru 0
That was just...an epic win there, Maddoctor. xD
LaurentL 26
you *****
S3A82 0
kinky. i hope you at least took it to dinner beforehand
SP63_fml 0
Was it at least wearing a pillow case?
sublime93 0
Rofl.
werewolf_13 0
omfg, roflmfao!!!! :D
remedy_1991 0
Hahahahahahaha, Thats great.