Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Poor pillow
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Lock your doors
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Going at it
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
False alarm
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Top comments
awuh_man 0
haha that sucks was it hot?
Dboy23 0
LMFAO! Horny little bugger are we?
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Comments (183)
ellbtvsvm 0
"I woke up finding myself"? Gah, it hurts. But that is horrible. FYL.
LouieG2OO7 0
dude, that's gross...burn the tape and get on her about privacy
krispykreem 0
...why?!?!
mrbattleman 10
Guess what video will be played at your wedding =P
BLNovelist 0
IF you were in your bedroom when that happened, tell her off. I would seriously rip my parents a new one if they recorded me in my room while I slept- not only is it creepy as hell, but a total invasion of privacy. FYL.
SuperSpore 0
Why did they have a video camera ready and how did they know you were humping your pillow? I would find that slightly creepy. Check the camera. There may be more videos of you in your sleep. O.O
heavenandhell 0
good point lol
crudeandrudeguy 29
This could happen a lot more frequently than he thinks, humping things in his sleep
GrimReaper973 0
wheres the tape?
girls4girls 0
XDDDD
thatgirl21 0
BAHAHAHAHAHA at #45 cmnt. i think your mom was enjoying it.
wellchit 0
your mom wants you in the sack ;)