Today, I woke up finding myself violently humping my pillow. My mom recorded it. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Poor pillow
Today, I was having a fantastic sex dream. So good, in fact, that I woke myself up breathing heavily and humping my pillow. I was at my friend's house and she saw everything. FML
Lock your doors
Today, I was touching myself in my room. Just as I hit the climax, my mom walked in because she heard me making noises and thought I was having a nightmare. FML
Today, I woke up to my 7 year old son angrily trying to smother me with a pillow. FML
Today, I was having a wet dream and had a pretty vivid imagination. I ended up thrusting so hard that it showed up in reality. I literally humped so hard that I woke myself up. Not only that, but I was sleeping on the living room floor so my roommates saw and now it's their joke of the day. FML
Going at it
Today, my girlfriend and I were trying to get it on on the bed. As soon as things were starting to get heated, I turned over and saw that my dog had not only jumped up on the bed, but had been watching and started to hump the pillow next to our heads. FML
Today, I gave my mom an extra pillow since the ones in the guest room were too flat and hurt her neck. Hours later, I remembered that I'd stashed my vibrator in that pillowcase during a romantic camping trip with my husband. She found it. FML
Today, I found out my mom sleeps in my room when I'm at college during the week. I discovered this my bumping into her dildo with my foot. FML
False alarm
Today, I was masturbating on my inflatable air mattress that squeaks when you move. Suddenly, my mom burst into my room to ask if I was okay because she thought the squeaking was me crying. I ripped my hands from my pants and turned on my side; she walked over and grabbed my hands to console me. FML
Today, I heard my mom moan in the other room. FML
Alexa, play "Asleep" by The Smiths
Today, I woke up to my best friend laying next to me vigorously touching herself. She thought I was asleep. FML
Top comments
awuh_man 0
haha that sucks was it hot?
Dboy23 0
LMFAO! Horny little bugger are we?
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Comments (183)
cactus_fml 0
HAHAHAHAHA. Why don't you say, "Mom, you're a sick ****, making **** out of your own son." Maybe then she'll erase it.
Allord 0
YDI for being asleep. Sleep is for the weak.
NicoletteOxmarie 0
LMFAO !!!! nice mommmy .
AudreyKHepburn 0
Oh my God I can't believe she'd record that. That's perverse.
remedy_1991 0
I started crying because of how hard i was laughing at this comment. XD
megan_is_onfiree 0
Haha! Dude that sucks. But it made my day :]
bcopeland 0
ooo .. creepy...
perfectgrl6971 0
hahahhaha!!..that's sad..but funny:)
cers123 0
well. im sorry, but that one made me laugh. :] but its okay, i thought of my boyfriend doing that. which made it funnier.
coloradostate 0
why would she record it? wierd. but very funny