Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, I went to the movies and accidentally walked into the wrong theater. I sat through an entire horror film, thinking it was supposed to be a rom-com. I kept waiting for the romantic twist. It never came. Satanic haunted dolls or whatever they were did, though. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
Maybe get him kicked out? Idiot...
WickedAwsum 0
Well #1, we don't like you. You could have gotten a person who worked there to get him removed or something, or move seats?
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Comments (255)
we5leyz 4
Maybe you should of manned up and tell him to GTFO?
byebyebaby 0
YDI why didn't you just move...and how the hell is a Hobo affording a 10 dollar movie in the first place?
audiogasmic 0
im' calling bs on this, if he was masturbating there would have DEFINITELY been lots of people complaining, someone would have gotten a manager or something. i mean its a MIDNIGHT PREMIER any movie big enough to get one of those usually is packed soooooooo sorry i just dont' buy this.
bikkichi 0
This is BS. We've had this one before, I am almost 100% certain. Exact same one about going to a midnight showing, theater being packed, and a "random hobo" sitting next to him and talking the entire time. You pretty much copied that secret exactly.
guitardedman 0
YDI for not moving! if someone's gonna jack it in your general area, get the **** away from them
Nakedsquirrel 5
YDI for putting up with it an entire two hours. No one wants to be the ******* killjoy, but when someone is ruining a service you paid for, you don't just let it continue and be a doormat.
afiellerddr 0
you should have gotten him kicked out, so on that part, YDI, but FYL that the movie (which, #6, shall be great cause the book was amazing and Ron Howard's cool like that) was ruined by a crazy man
TomFantastic 0
Sounds ******* hot whether it's true or not
rukusrazor 0
Was this hobo Pee-Wee Herman?
suaveneanderthal 0
god damnit all the moderators for this site need to be ******* shot this is obviously just a copy of a previous fml but all my fmls get ******* denied. i think this whole goddamn website is fake not just this one fml so yeah go ahead and moderate this little comment but i hope that whoever the moderator is that reads this has a pair of balls on him and does something about this bullshit.