Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, I went to the movies and accidentally walked into the wrong theater. I sat through an entire horror film, thinking it was supposed to be a rom-com. I kept waiting for the romantic twist. It never came. Satanic haunted dolls or whatever they were did, though. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
nuked 0
Maybe get him kicked out? Idiot...
WickedAwsum 0
Well #1, we don't like you. You could have gotten a person who worked there to get him removed or something, or move seats?
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (255)
panda24 0
Wow way to rip this. Today, I paid 11 dollars to see the new Wolverine movie. I arrived an hour early and waited patiently for the movie to start. 3 minutes before it began, a drunk guy stumbled in and took the last empty seat in the theater... next to me. He talked to me the whole movie. FML Yeah, you're not original.
Art_Vandeley 0
Stand up and kick his ass.
Hilaryrose 0
sound suspiciously like one that was posted for Wolverine's premiere. I'm calling fake. there would have been a lot of solutions to this.
SarlaccBits 0
Yeah, you could have said something to the management instead of just sitting there.
ibaneziceman 0
YDI for not moving.
Vagrarian 2
I'm normally sympathetic as hell, but in this case I'd have to say...YDI. You could have, SHOULD have gone to get a manager or usher. To sit there and suffer is just too passive for words.
youfailatlife 0
Obviously this got you off in some way because you FAILed to do anything the above posters noted.
MURPHYCHACHO 5
I picked YDI. WHY THE HELL DIDN'T YOU GET AN EMPLOYEE TO KICK HIM OUT, YOU MORON?!
onigiriqueen 0
I agree with #70-- either complain, get your money back and come back another day to see it, or just get an employee to kick him out. Easy, peasy, lemon-squeezy. YDI for being a dumbass.
invisibledamage 2
I would say change your seat, but it was probably packed. I voted FYL. Maybe the OP did go and tell the people after the movie, but, if OP had gotten up during the movie it probably would have been just as awkward and been bothersome to those around.