Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, I went to see a movie but took my phone out a few times to check my socials. Apparently the asshole behind me didn’t like that, because he ripped my phone out of my hands, dropped it in my soda, then just sat back in his seat like nothing happened. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my boyfriend. We went inside the theatre and he saw a couple of his friends. Instead of saying hi and coming back to watch the movie with me, he ditched me for them. When I reminded him he was forgetting something, he grabbed the popcorn out of my hands and left. FML
Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML
Today, at the movies, some asswipe kept throwing candy at me. After 20 minutes of it, I got up and went over to get him to stop. Good news: his balls vanished faster than a politician's spine immediately after being elected. Bad news: I got kicked out for "starting a disturbance". FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Today, at the movies on a date, I drank all my soda and waited too long. I couldn't take it anymore and quickly got up, knocking my date's popcorn on the floor, and ran to the bathroom. I didn’t make it and went home in shame. It’s better he thinks I stood him up. FML
Today, at my job as a movie theater attendant, my boss finally eased up and let me sit in on one of the movies. One woman kept laughing out loud every other line. After ten minutes of her braying like a dying horse, I got up and had her ejected from the theater. I'm a terrible person. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I went to a movie with this guy. He was late so the only seats available were the ones in the very front which he refused to sit in. As we were looking for two seats, he spotted one near the back and sat down, leaving me to sit by myself in the front. FML
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Top comments
lowkeybelieber 7
Look on the bright side. He lost 10 dollars with that drink.
Cads1 24
You are complaining about receiving a free drink?
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Comments (76)
lowkeybelieber 7
Look on the bright side. He lost 10 dollars with that drink.
slingerslasher 24
Movie logic: 10 bucks for a ticket. Oh, you want to eat popcorn too? Sure, that'll be 14 dollars, your right nut, and your firstborn child, provided you can still have children with just one ********
Zebediabolical 45
Movie Logic: The vast majority of the ticket money goes to the studio so we'll make ours on concessions.
Kramer1998 20
More than that even
samm_fucked 8
Looks like your in a sticky situation
slingerslasher 24
Why does someone in the top 4 comments always attempt to make a crappy pun
lulinator 40
Once upon a time, being the first one to make a pun made you a commenting God. Kind of like a new relationship, when the girl giggles at everything her boyfriend says, thinking he's the funniest thing on earth. Then, as time goes on, the boy's lame jokes get old, and all he can get out of her is a blank stare. Which is equivalent to a thumbing down on FML.
ohSNAPyall 27
What a drinky situation
heartofhannah 28
That made zero sense.
EatUrGreens 20
#13 Once a pun a time.. *runs away quickly*
Ashamed_Sister 60
I actually looked for a pun about OP's username. Are you serious, "zaynemaliksvagina"?
mr_sarcastic416 29
#47 me too lol I'm just scrolling through the comments for jokes about ops username lol
WOTAN1488 24
Damn such people.
Welshite 40
*grabs popcorn* This ought to be good.
LandoKid 9
I approve of this pun.
tanziir1 14
What kinda soda was it?
raesos91 26
I'll be damned if it was a Dr. Pepper!!
Cads1 24
You are complaining about receiving a free drink?
mds9986 24
Can't really drink it after it's been poured on your head. Then again, I guess you can suck the moisture out of your shirt and lick your arm.
Hyenayena 27
You... Why would you...
gopi_fml 23
so would you
Tournesol143 28
You should have informed him you went to the movies to unwind, not cool off.
uglytwin 15
Rage much?
MandyMeow_fml 18
That's a plot twist you weren't expecting.
LVtaytay 12
At least you got a free drink