Today, I went to the midnight premiere of Angels and Demons. A hobo wandered into the theater and sat down behind me. I paid $10 to spend two and a half hours listening to a crazy man talk to himself and kick my chair while he loudly masturbated. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I had to do a "damage report" on myself after going to the midnight premiere of Harry Potter. As I was waiting for the previews, a 20 year old man dressed as a house elf tackled and wrestled me for my seat. FML
Today, I went to see Jackass 3 in 3D. While the previews were playing, some guy sitting next to me leaned over and began telling me what happens in every scene, completely ruining the movie for me. He tried to get my number afterwards. FML
Today, I was late to a sold out movie in the theater, so I had to shuffle in during the previews in the dark. I sat down in what I thought was the last vacant seat, but I'd really just sat in a small woman's lap. She was not happy. FML
Today, I went to the movies and accidentally walked into the wrong theater. I sat through an entire horror film, thinking it was supposed to be a rom-com. I kept waiting for the romantic twist. It never came. Satanic haunted dolls or whatever they were did, though. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Today, this guy and I went on a date to the movies. We got up to the desk and I asked for one ticket for 'Jennifer's Body.' The guy moved his way in front of me and said, "make that two tickets." He then walked away to look at movie posters and left me with the $22.50 charge. FML
Today, I went to see "Black Swan" with my parents, not realizing that it was basically a porno. So I sat next to my dad while Mila Kunis and Natalie Portman had passionate lesbian sex on a twenty foot screen. And I'm pretty sure I heard the old guy behind us jacking off. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
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Top comments
nuked 0
Maybe get him kicked out? Idiot...
WickedAwsum 0
Well #1, we don't like you. You could have gotten a person who worked there to get him removed or something, or move seats?
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Comments (255)
dyingstart 0
It's not your fault Tom Hanks is sexy! To all the people who asked why the OP didn't move, think about it. This was a highly anticipated movie, and they were at the midnight premier...I'm pretty sure it was sold out and there was nowhere to move.
Rekabeck 7
Darn, sucks to be you :)
okenter 0
What the hell?! You SAT THERE for 2 1/2 hours, instead of complaining, moving, or leaving and demanding tickets to a new showing? YDI for being such a passive twerp. If half the people on FML actually took simple steps to improve their situations, this site would be so much better.
Rawrrr14 0
Why didn't you leave? or get him kicked out? I mean there were probably little kids in that movie. I can't believe nobody did anything! That's basically sending the message "Hey, come on in, were a movie theater, we wanna hear you **********!" There are some messed up people out there......
mcbeth 0
where are you people live that they just let homeless people walk into a movie theatre? i say FYL for living in a shitty place
illeyad 0
Eww I agree with a lot of the other commenters- where was the usher? Why didn't you get staff to kick his ass out? Next time take control of the situation!
Shadowflames420 0
So you like the cum on the back of your neck?
monkeebabes 3
YOU ARE A DUMBASS AND DESERVED THAT THEN i work at a movie theater, if you go and fricken tell someone that a)there someone in there that shouln't be or b) they are doing something sexual. they will get kicked out no matter what and in the B, we call the cops. are you that fricken lazy to go and report it to someone? ugh. and if this is even real, then your theater is crap, because i think people would notice if someone walked into the theater, no ticket and just goes into the movie. the doors should have been locked by then. so no one else could enter the building and if not that there are still people working because of the screening, i'm sure they would have noticed him come in. i still stick with that you are a complete dumbass
emzy08 0
this is just like the one who saw the wolverine premiere.. why can't people be original??
bikkichi 0
Bah, I didn't remember the differences of last time. Just thought it was the same. Sorry. Anyway, I still call BS... D