Today, I went to the movies with my friends. All throughout, some guy kept making weird sounds and breathing deeply. Midway through the movie, he got even louder. Just as I was about to snap, chunks of vomit sprayed over my chair and shoulders. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I went to the movies with some girlfriends. The guy behind us was making these pervy, heavy breathing noises, so we threw some popcorn at him. When the movie finished, we saw him in a wheelchair - with a breathing tube sticking out of his neck. FML
Today, I found out that sitting in the third row at a 3D movie makes me vomit. Today I also found out that the big burly dude in front of me does not appreciate being vomited on. Now I feel nauseous and have a black eye. Not to mention I missed the last part of the movie. FML
Today, I was in a cinema watching a movie to review in the local paper. Suddenly, the guy behind me leans in and starts whispering and hissing, "Do it... Do... It. DO IT" for the rest of the movie. I'm still not sure what he wanted me to do, but he did smell of vomit and had a tea-cosy on his head. FML
Today, I took my girlfriend to a scary movie, hoping I could comfort her at a scary part. Instead when a scary part came on, she reacted by throwing up all over my lap and the person in front of us. FML
Today, I was having a rough day, so I decided to go to the movies to unwind. 15 minutes in, some assmunch behind me said "This movie sucks!" then dumped his drink over my head and ran out. FML
Today, I went to the movies on a date. My chair made a fart sound while I moved around a little, so my date thought I'd let one rip. He then let out a really horrendously smelling one to make me feel less embarrassed, giving me a reassuring look. FML
Today, my friends and I saw a movie. We sat in the balcony. Halfway during the movie we heard a commotion, thinking it was a group of unruly teenagers like us, we began to pelt the lower half of the theater with candy. We later learned that it was a man having a heart attack. FML
Today, at the cinema, I sat next to a guy who couldn’t stand a minute without laughing or making comments about the film. FML
Today, I went on a first date to the movies. During the flick, I choked on a piece of popcorn. I took a gulp of soda and that got stuck as well. I finally got my breath back and let out the loudest burp I ever have. He looked at me and said, "Does this mean I can fart now?" FML
Today, I was at a movie theater. I heard some obnoxious people talking in front of me. After about 5 minutes, I began throwing popcorn at a group of suspected people. As I was escorted out, I realized that the obnoxious people were in the background of the movie. FML
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Top comments
RainbowHeadache 2
& then you snapped right? Because I would be so livid.
ceilingfans 1
Are you sure it was vomit? He could have been furiously masterbating.
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Comments (108)
RainbowHeadache 2
& then you snapped right? Because I would be so livid.
TubaFTW 2
I'd turn around and throw up right back... I'd be so disgusted.
EddiE_CN 8
Oh god!! The mental image...
zombicidal 11
I was expecting a cumshot. I need to stop watching so much ****
kyarush 10
I would have snapped alright. Snapped his neck!
Keyman1212 14
Rule 34, NO EXCEPTIONS.
Sebastian_NG 17
It must have been one hell of a movie for him to (almost) endure the entire movie with nausea
metallicshadow 16
who wants chowda?
monkeysareyummy 0
Haha oh my god #35 that comment just made my life.
CalebEatsZombies 2
Where's my knife? >_
The_Troller 14
That wasn't vomit...
ProjeKtSC2 8
I read "you're" profile and you sound like a real ass... "bro" Also why are you complaining about 12 year olds, when "your" 14!?! I hope this pissed you off haha ;)
EvilTwerp 12
I agree with 43. And old people complain about young people saying 'bro' and 'dude'. So I assume that makes you a 14 year old raised by old people.
The_Troller 14
43- I really don't care at all, most of my profile is sarcastic anyway.
StoryOfTheYear 15
50- If you "don't care at all" why did you post a response to him.
The_Troller 14
52- I don't care about any of the things 43 put in his comment just to annoy me. But I do care about the fact that he put in the "I hope this pisses you off" part, because it was uncalled for and unnecessary. And I have OCD, so I really can't help it when things like bad grammar bother me.
StoryOfTheYear 15
If you're really someone who hates uncalled for and unnecessary things you probably could've picked a better username.
The_Troller 14
True, true. But I'm not creative... at all.
YDIomg 9
for the record, your profile pic is pretty awesome.
desireev 18
43- I had to check out his profile after you said that. Aaaaaand.... I think I just died laughing!
The_Troller 14
In a good way?
Trolliolio 6
88- How was your comment posted then?
MTJY 21
At least it was only vomit?
tragicnightmare 15
"there she blows!!"
hackaypreeseh 2
Only?
MTJY 21
After heavy breathing and weird noises from a guy, I'd be glad it was only vomit.
OhHeySlogan 4
No... You'd be disgusted like everyone else.
ppeanutbutter 1
i see what you did there.
ianbeef 11
Gross
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
If I were a girl or a homosexual I think semen would be better than vomit, vomit is so gross! D:
s1ckpup 0
#32 , you're **** for even sayin that -_-
StoryOfTheYear 15
Lolwtf^ XD
ohSNAPyall 27
But you wouldn't think that as a straight guy? Let me tell you, as a woman, I'd find that foul -- not sexy, complimentary nor whatever else you think would make it more acceptable to gals or (male) gays.
ceilingfans 1
Are you sure it was vomit? He could have been furiously masterbating.
ilikeapplejuice 7
like PeeWee?
farhil 14
The only two people shot in the theater were Abraham Lincoln and the guy in front of Peewee Herman
cmac86 24
^farhil, I don't know why your comment made me laugh so hard. I guess it just really got me.
Trolliolio 6
^...hard.
StoryOfTheYear 15
You're lucky you hadn't turned around with your mouth open ready to chew him out.
miker1000 0
Yummy!! Seconds please!!
Torva_fml 16
You're gross.^
SamCat 21
absolutely gross! fyl op... what is read, cannot be un-read fml eww :/
monkeysareyummy 0
My first thought was "one of the nasty guys who masturbates in public"
Ohmie 5
I hope none of it went into the popcorn!
Cheerieful_fml 2
Don't worry, if she got a large she gets free refills.
pizzaisyummy 0
And there's the snap