Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
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Top comments
oh_dee 0
why would you sit on the seat in a public restroom? GROSS!
ddrluna 2
You people are retarded. Do a little research. The hard, cold plastic of toilet seats aren't fertile breeding ground. A simple search on google will tell you that your own personal cell phone is filthier than toilet seats. Besides, what are our immune systems for, anyway? Bunch of *******, I swear.
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Comments (180)
MonkeySpeaks 4
Why would you actually sit your bare ass on a BAR toilet seat. Have you not heard of hovering!??!
Guyoverhere 0
Why sit to pee?
jollyjam1 2
YDI for doing drugs (alcohol is a drug) and getting too "buzzed" to notice shit on the seat. Dummy.
dr_house_MD 0
caffeine is also a drug so do you get mad at people for drinking stuff with that in it?
jollyjam1 2
If they got so buzzed that sat in poo, yes. BTW, alcohol related deaths in the US are about 85,000 per year. Caffeine 0.
fxdxhk90 0
There are way too many people here afraid of public toilets. You should know that they are no dirtier then the toilets seats in your house.
duchesse427 0
YDI. 1.)For not looking down first 2.)I don't care if you think toilet seats are no dirtier than the ones in your house, honestly how do you know? Random strangers take pisses on the toilet seat, you don't know how dirty they are! Squat or put toilet paper down
beaniebabe 0
That's just nastyyyy i always squat
fuglyhos 0
ahhaha same or i put toilet paper
epiphone94 0
Hahaha idiot. That sucks. U should have looked before sat
kellster 2
How the hell did you manage to not look before you sat???? And you don't sit on toilet seats in BARS, you douchebag! Not so much because toilet seats are germy (I can't believe people still think that!) but because drunk idiots piss on them! Although at this point, I sure hope I'm preaching to the choir. Ugh.
kacie13 1
Oh god ew. That's seriously disgusting.
hanic101 0
Ewww just ewww!