Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
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Top comments
oh_dee 0
why would you sit on the seat in a public restroom? GROSS!
ddrluna 2
You people are retarded. Do a little research. The hard, cold plastic of toilet seats aren't fertile breeding ground. A simple search on google will tell you that your own personal cell phone is filthier than toilet seats. Besides, what are our immune systems for, anyway? Bunch of *******, I swear.
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Comments (180)
lady_gogo 0
well, next time you should look at the toilet seat before sitting down. And you don't totally sit on the toilet bowl when you are using a public toilet. Just a tip.
Houdeka 0
Haha I've read so many times and I keep laughing omg #47
hotissue 0
AHHHHHHH i totally cringed gross!!!!!!!
stringoffail 0
Maybe it's just the fact I'm a cowboy at heart, but I always follow the rule "Look before you squat." There is absolutely no reason someone should ever sit "in" something gross. There is no reason anyone should ever "fall in the toilet" or sit in pee. If you don't look where you're sitting, you deserve whatever you sat in. Especially if you're a woman. Women ALWAYS sit. In my life, I've cleaned more than my fair share of restrooms, and the ladies rooms were hands-down always more disgusting. Women had more brown stuff on the floor and walls and woman had MUCH more pee on the seat. Every time. I don't even under stand HOW a woman pees on the seat, unless she's standing up and hovering.
proud_liberal 0
You must be an alcoholic if you got buzzed. Get help before you rape someone dude. You are a monster in waiting
shoegal808 0
lol you seriously didn't look before you sat down? So you walked into the cubicle staring straight ahead and didn't even lok at the seat? Even if you were buzzed, that doesn't make you blind.
MsGates 0
Eeew u actually sit on a public toilet thts wht u get, surpized u didn't get crabs or something ,dumbass
FHbeast 0
I agree. I think it's disgusting to use public bathrooms in the first place, let alone to sit on them. YDI for sitting on a public toilet seat. And to #127, women don't always sit, especially in a public bathroom. Most squat and that's how pee gets on the seat.
DankJemo 0
No dice, but you should really look before you leap.
lifemusik4456 0
eww!! y can't people learn to go to the bathroom the right way in public?? I mean come on? but YDI. always look before u sit...
Mercenary 0
Women's restrooms are always so disgusting. That's why ladies should always "hover" while using the restroom. I swear, one day I will make a fortune by teaching a self-help class called "How Not To Piss, Shit or Bleed on the Toilet Seat 101".