Today, I went to a new bar downtown with some friends. I was a little buzzed and had to pee so bad. I rushed into the bathroom and as I sat down I felt a squish on my upper thigh. Turns out the last person in the stall decided to take a shit on the toilet seat. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Same thing different taste
Sprinkler system
Today, I was using a mall bathroom. Thinking the toilet seat had to be unsanitary, I decided to squat. I was a little farther out than I thought, and ended up peeing all over the bathroom floor. FML
Today, I was taking a dump at a public restroom. As I reached over to grab the toilet paper, I realized someone had peed on it. FML
Today, I was peeing in a urinal at a bar. A drunk guy comes in, and seeing no urinals open, he decides to pee between my legs from behind me. He didn't have good aim. FML
Today, I had diarrhea in a public bathroom. When I was finished, I noticed that someone had pissed all over the toilet paper. FML
How could you miss that?
Today, I had to piss really bad, so we stopped at a gas station. I guess I had to pee so bad that I didn't think to check the PUBLIC toilet. My mom went in after me and when she got back in the car, she asked me if I'd pooped, which I hadn't, then she told me that the seat was covered in it. Actual shit. FML
You OK in there?
Today, I went to the bathroom at a friend’s house, used the toilet paper, and realized there was none left on the roll. I grabbed a replacement pack but it was all the way on the top shelf that was too high for me. I stood on tiptoes, balancing precariously on the toilet lid when it suddenly flipped down, knocking me off, and splashing pisswater everywhere. FML
Today, while in the airport waiting to board, I got the sudden urge to pee, so I ran to the bathroom feeling like my bladder was about to burst. I was so focused on relieving my bladder that I failed to notice the diarrhea covering the toilet seat and the wall behind it until I was sitting in it. FML
Today, I went to take a dump at work, but the last person in the stall didn't flush. As I flushed for him, the shitty water splashed on my face. Some went in my mouth. FML
Today, while getting on a city bus, I sat down on a urine-soaked seat. FML
Today, in a public toilet, I got to experience a guy high out of his mind kicking in my locked stall door and puking all over me. FML
Top comments
oh_dee 0
why would you sit on the seat in a public restroom? GROSS!
ddrluna 2
You people are retarded. Do a little research. The hard, cold plastic of toilet seats aren't fertile breeding ground. A simple search on google will tell you that your own personal cell phone is filthier than toilet seats. Besides, what are our immune systems for, anyway? Bunch of *******, I swear.
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Comments (180)
coldplaylive2003 0
You still would have peed on the seat...
easylazy 0
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
YDI for taking a piss in a toilet next time use the urinal
Rider_fml 0
the OP is a woman so why would she use a urinal? plus the only reason you replied to #1 was to have your comment seen...
sublime84 0
That is genuine.
dgafprincess90 0
its a chick dude why would she use a urinal dumbass
elliebutton 0
My question is: why didn't you look at the seat before you sat down?
Juggalette_623 9
isn't that a general rule? look before you sit?
kindofgocrazy 0
I thought so, but I guess not.
mitchiv13 0
eww!
ryguy997 0
YDI for going to a bar. or drinking for that matter. YOU WILL BUURRRRRNN!!
mmmrabies 0
Ew. Never sit on a public toilet seat without cleaning or putting toilet paper on it first! Gross.
truehitman2010 0
talk about a shitty situation
kaegomay12 17
never sit on the seat in public toielets
Felifulify 4
YDI for not checking the toilet seat before u sat on it... Being in a desperate need to relief urself isnt a good enough excuse for not checking the toilet seat beforehand..
fotc77 0
That is disgusting the toilet seat what was that guy thinking
alexcanttell 0
uhh its a woman, you idiot
superguppy19 3
That's even worse ewww a women with no manners and I thought guys were bad gross
oh_dee 0
why would you sit on the seat in a public restroom? GROSS!
Gaby_peaceandluv 0
Agreed. Either put paper on the seat or squat & don't touch the seat at all.
natividales 0
agreed.
alex_vik 1
Um...why wouldn't you sit on the toilet seat?
ravinderkaler 0
because we're not disgusting people, maybe?
ReiKoko 16
#17, maybe cos it's widely known that public toilets are breeding grounds for all sorts of bacteria? you never know who could've used the toilet before you and it's just NASTY.
ddrluna 2
You people are retarded. Do a little research. The hard, cold plastic of toilet seats aren't fertile breeding ground. A simple search on google will tell you that your own personal cell phone is filthier than toilet seats. Besides, what are our immune systems for, anyway? Bunch of *******, I swear.
Asdas_fml 0
There's a difference in your own toilet that you (hopefully) clean every once in a while and a public toilet where people urinate and shit on the toilet seats. Even if there isn't too much bacteria, you wouldn't want to sit in someone's shit, right?
blehargh 0
It's all well and good if the seat is clean and dry, but in public restrooms... sometimes people just don't bother to aim, or guys don't lift the seat and there's piss splashed all over it.
FPsLife 5
So #53, do you usually sit in other people's excrement?
ddrluna 2
lol, did I say that? No, I just said that people are too damn paranoid about public restrooms. Obviously if there's shit all over the seat, I'm going to go try and find another one that doesn't have any on it. Nobody wants to actually sit in other people's waste, but if the toilet seat is clean and wiped, what the hell's the problem? There's actually very little bacteria there in comparison to things we normally feel no stigma towards, so people should stop being so concerned with it.
darkimmortal777 6
um thats just nasty and i wuld never sit on a public toilet seat, sure it may look clean but it most definately not...at all.....sitting on ur home toilet, thats fine, u know where ur ass has been.. but not in a public restroom, god knows how many things you can catch from that shit...literallyyyyyy,. SQUAT PEOPLE
easylazy 0
Hahaha I love how people are scared of a toilet seat because of germs! This is hilarious In 6th grade we collected samples from every place in the school and found that the knob on the water fountain contained the most germs, even more than someone's pee sample, and samples from both the urinal and the toilet seat. Besides, the seat is flat so it's very difficult for bacteria to live there. Most bacteria you encounter in your every day life are harmless. (Like yogurt for example.) Besides, it's extremely hard for a bacterium to pass your first line of defense-- your skin.
nucleosynthesis 0
58, in public restrooms, they clean the toilet seats every day, sometimes multiple times per day. How often do you clean your toilet seat at home? Once a week? Anyways, you pick up more bacteria from touching the door handle to leave the bathroom than you do sitting on the seat, and the bacteria from the door is more likely to make it to places like your mouth. THAT'S disgusting.
ReiKoko 16
at my last job, which was in a *very* nice building, the toilets were cleaned several times a day, yes. unfortunately, most of the time i went in there, the toilet seats would be splattered with pee (and i'm female, so i don't know HOW women can splatter toilet seats all over, even when hovering). i don't hover, but i always check the seats before covering them with either a toilet seat cover or tissue, no matter how urgently i have to go. even if there aren't that many bacteria to worry about, sitting in other people's messes isn't very pleasant.
lolzforfun228 3
okay so you would rather piss yourself than sit on a public toilet? makes perfect sense *rolls eyes*
curryndricegirll 0
Ugh eww. Don't sit on the toilet seat. Squat and build up those gluts. And for all the dumbass know-it-alls, you don't sit in feces. End of story. Sure there are less germs on the toilet seat, but there are germs so why just bring your self there. And yes, your skin is your first line of defense but the woman has several other ways the germs could get in that I'm not comfortable mentioning. Btw, most people wipe their butts and yeah, as you said the sink has even more germs so then you wash your hands, and then your hands go in your mouth when you eat and then you get diseases like typhoid. If you have to pee really bad and don't have the time to look then just squat. FYL, btw.
curryndricegirll 0
Btw, I'm just curious as to how the woman who crapped on the seat managed to miss the actual toilet.
DizzyDemon0 9
ddrluna...i love you. I agree completely..you people don't understand how gross the things you touch and use on a regular basis are. The doorknobs you touch everyday are a WAY bigger "risk" to you then a public toilet seat ever will be. Your body works at stopping infections and bacteria all day..do you really think you are clean? You're all covered with bacteria all the time. Grow the **** up. I bet y'all still wash your hands with hot water and most likely don't even use anti-bacterial soap or disinfectant. 'Tards :) I still love you all though...just a little less then I did.
wordly 0
It's well known that the door handles and taps in bathrooms have way more germs on them than the toilet seat. Besides, you get some germs on your ass, they don't really go anywhere, like your hands. Germs on your ass cheeks don't make you sick.
Azlin_22 0
exactly! why would you even sit on a puplic toilet seat? you don't need to actually sit on the seat, thats just gross, and thats how what you mentioned happens
Rande 0
good call on the immune system.... unless you have some sort of disease that your immune system doesnt work properly... and in that case you should be staying away from public areas anyways. if you need to sit, check the seat first, common sense
DaMirrorLink 0
i can attest to this, i used to be a maintenance worker for wal-mart (sucky job but hey, it was a job!) and we cleaned the bathrooms 3 times a day, and every time we went in and left they were spotless.
antoinemartinez 0
ewww gross. by the way 23 is VERY sexy
YdoIhaveAchode 4
152, this website isn't for flirting.
oakland43 6
she just said she was BUZZED
crazyluvbug 8
Yeah but I know a few ppl that are ******* lazy that don't clean the toilets hardly at all. That thought grosses me out. Cuz I've seen horrible things...like ******* nasty ppl leave stuff behind that make anyone throw up and run screaming. That's why I'm slightly paranoid. :)
daemonsparta 16
most public Tolley seats hey cleaned every hour, more than that if they serve food at the place. the problem is not looking before your sit
Helldemon 32
Squatting/Hovering is probably how that shit ended up on the toilet seat in the first place and largely the reason for any messes on the toilet seat.
lalala37_fml 0
that is honeslty gross.
fuckmavie_fml 0
AWFUL
yourmysunshine 0
gag! that would have made me throw up.
pokeredface 1
Nastyyy d: Next time look before you sit? o.o
quiturbitchin 0
Agreed. I was beginning to think the whole internet hadn't yet realized that she sat down on a toilet without looking at it first. OP, look at the toilet seat before you sit down and QYB!!!
MeganH0LLYW00D 0
Shit Happens!
maxson_fml 0
win
glennabobenna 0
perfection
awesomedot1 0
that was... punny :D
kaelendra 0
thats just gross though the squatters commenting on here are likely the ones leaving messes... wipe then plop your rears down or at least clean up after yourself.
Dr_Pepper_fml 3
Thank you!!!! There's no way a chick could shit or piss on a toilet seat if she was not squatting. If people used toilets the way they were intended to be used, one wouldn't have to worry!!!!!!!!!
missterii 0
Dude I would have been PISSED!!!