Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
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Top comments
mwschreck 0
If you paid for it thats your own fault, I would have made them make me another.
null_fml 11
The smart thing to do here would have been to calmly open up the box, take the pizza out, and whip it behind the counter at the idiot who did that.
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Comments (80)
dralven 0
Probably nothing more than pizza stuff. Probably just remnants of the same stuff that would go on the pizza. It's not like it's an outdoor public trashcan.
MarcTorchbearer 0
It's not really worthy of an FML. id just ask for a new pizza.
relyo 0
Did you complain to mangement? If not YDI and STFU.
DBkkk 0
Ydi for not complaining
LilaBear 2
I hope you complained and demanded they make you a new one.
Erindub 0
For the people saying they don't eat food from resturants do you HONESTLY think food from grocery stores is any better? Really? All of that food gets processed in questionable places too!
richzip 0
I certainly hope you demanded a new pizza, on the house. If not--you totally deserved it.
NorfolkDude 2
How is this a FML? I would have told that dude I didn't want it. I mean wtf is wrong with you taking it for? I mean are you that fat that you have to eat it even though it's not up to your standards? Man, talk about lost of self control. Get a hold of yourself, son.
JohnnyTheFox 0
Maybe that trash can is specifically to throw away pizza-related things and thus has nothing more disgusting in it than what you were planning on eating.
Dante_Nakura 0
I agree. Those trashcans fill up surprisingly quickly so nothing has any chance to be nasty. All that would be in there is pizza scraps that fall on the table while cutting, ripped cardboard from boxes or other pizza bits.