Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Same thing different taste
Hangry
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
What just happened?
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML
Don't mess with pizza
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Pizza party
Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML
Masterchef
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Classic
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
Top comments
mwschreck 0
If you paid for it thats your own fault, I would have made them make me another.
null_fml 11
The smart thing to do here would have been to calmly open up the box, take the pizza out, and whip it behind the counter at the idiot who did that.
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Comments (80)
princessash 0
Ewww. That is REALLY gross. Hopefully you didnt actually pay for it, took it, and ate it. I definately would have said something.
tikimuppet 11
I would have refused to pay or demanded another
Thunderbender 2
Not really an FML. Unless you're disgusting as hell you didnt pay for or eat the pizza, unless you did in which case YDI
oNikkio 0
And I just happen to be waiting for a pizza to be delivered to my residence. Lucky me for stumbling upon this.
ladiesman14 0
YDI FYL ! Merry Christmas and Happy all the other retarded Holidays that people celebrate.
ensemble_coeur 0
you are so clever
cherylface 13
And you told the manager and got a free pizza, right? It's not an FML if you have a spine.
zorn___ 0
You should've called the worker on it, called a health inspector, and got them closed down. :D
ohemmegee 0
It might have just been the pizza trash? Not like... rotten milk or something thrown in there. It could be a bin of pizza dough that got messed up. I know the local pizza place in my town has one of those. But even if it wasn't, you weren't force fed the pizza. You DID know what happened and had the right to refuse the pizza. More like FTheothercustomersLives, who didn't know if their pizza had been contaminated or not.
Repethetic 25
thank you! yes it might be a bin but bins get changed every hour or so in a restaurant and are filled with discarded food anyway! its literally just bits of pizza, and it was the edge anyway so it didn't even touch it!
janise 2
There's a difference between not cleaning it and wiping it on a trash can. Who knows what was on that trash can.
bubblybrooke 12
luv the name tho :P