Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, after placing it on top of the stove, my hot tray of freshly-baked cookies slipped. I caught it, though. With my bare hand. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I made dozens of cookies just in time for Christmas. When I went to take out the last pan from the oven, I slipped. In a desperate attempt to catch the pan I grabbed it with my bare hand. My hand is striped like a candy cane. FML
Today, I dropped a knife while cooking. Luckily it missed my foot, but only because it hit my knee. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
Today, I was working in a deli when I cut more meat than I intended; I basically removed my fingerprint via the deli slicer. FML
Today, I wanted to see if the frying pan was hot. I no longer have fingerprints. FML
Today, I dropped some food on the floor and picked it back up, took a bite, and quickly realised it had toenail cuttings in it. I never cut my toenails in my dining room. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
Top comments
ScarletteEve 33
Now go be the criminal you've always wanted to be!
swaglesshipster 23
Fingerprints will come back, but pizza is priceless. :D
Add a comment · Reply to
You must be logged in to be able to post comments!
Comments (54)
ScarletteEve 33
Now go be the criminal you've always wanted to be!
mariri9206 32
No, he should have been a criminal before it happened. He has new fingerprints now, even if they're burned, so he could be caught now.
wildbynature 13
I'm almost positive that's not how it works
masschris 17
Yeah i know how it feels
MrGodface 21
Yeah, having your finger prints burned off is a normal everyday occurrence to tons of people.
Brandi_Faith 34
Or he just knows to use oven mitts on hot things.
swaglesshipster 23
Fingerprints will come back, but pizza is priceless. :D
DraconicFeline 31
Actually I'm pretty sure fingerprints don't come back...and pizza, while delicious, isn't priceless :P
Leauge 13
#3 I few years ago and my prints never came back.
MikaykayUnicorn 36
They come back because your body is full of constantly dying and, for lack of a better word, regenerating cells. They will come back eventually.
IDontKnowWhoIAm04 24
#14, bet you're fun at parties.
DraconicFeline 31
18 - Aren't they formed in the womb though? If you burn them off its not like you have a womb to go back to. 19 - Yeah, I get that a lot.
luarasticks 13
#20- everything is formed in the womb. I fail to see your argument
tantanpanda 26
it's like when you get a callous on your hand and you rip it off. What you rip off gets replaced with new skin AS WELL AS the pattern that was there beforehand.
riyaap13 17
#24, cringe
TripleATeam 13
#20 The pattern is "remembered" by the skin under the burn. Once the epidermal layer is lost through natural shedding of skin (That's most of what dust is) the skin under comes up and replaces it. New cells are replicated under the epidermal layer to continue this process.
tonyfan00 38
If he got third degree burns, his finger prints won't come back. If he got first or second degree burns, his prints will eventually come back.
DraconicFeline 31
37 - Oh, alright, neat. I didn't know that. Fair enough then, I retract my earlier statements~
Enslaved 38
Dust bunnies are my favourite pizza topping.
beeferjay 34
aww, what a waste of fingerprints p.s. no 5 second rule?
CallMeWindSock 24
Well that's the beauty of pizza: it burns you first, but in the end, all it wants is to please you. Just like all my middle school crushes, except for the second part.
GuyOnBridge 14
and all your other crushes.
ruckfules85 34
I know you said dont worry but i have to...is the pizza ok?
jelrid 30
"When the moon hits your thigh like a big pizza pie; its amore...."
Johnnycake23 42
People who can drop pizza are why I have trust issues.
Aerobic_Exorcism 13
Must've been some good pizza.