Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was cleaning a pan. I turned the water on, and it was super hot. My reaction was to slam my hand down. On a knife. So, not only do I have a burned hand, but there's also a huge cut on it from the knife. FML
Today, I was in a rush, so I was removing my nail polish while using the toilet. Everything was going fine, until I used the toilet paper in my hand to wipe. It was covered in nail polish remover. It still burns. FML
Today, I reheated leftover pasta at work. I forgot to crack a vent on the container and it exploded in the microwave. Sauce coated the inside, so I spent my lunch break scrubbing while coworkers waited awkwardly to heat their food. The smell is still hanging in the office air. FML
Today, I had to take out the grease traps from our fryers. A very rude co-worker cut me off, so I had to abruptly stop and try to prevent as much spilling as possible. Luckily, it only spilled on me. I'm here for six more hours with burned, smelly, greasy spots all over my skin and clothes. FML
Today, I was making Cup Noodles for breakfast. After microwaving it for 3 minutes, I carefully grabbed the cup to pour some water out, but my hand gave out and some water spilled on it. Now I have a burned hand and no noodles. FML
Today, I cut my finger with a knife while cooking. I work in a hospital and have to use hand disinfectant at least every twenty minutes. It hurts badly. I have to work for eight hours. FML
Today, while I was at work in a machine shop, I cut myself really bad. Not with any of the sharp tools, drills, or metals I work with. Just the soap dispenser. FML
Today, I was feeling sick but went into my waitressing job because I'd already missed 3 days this week. I was dizzy and managed to spill a tray of drinks all over the customers. Then, when their food was done, I tripped and spilled hot chili all over the man's lap. FML
Today, I sat at work for eight hours daydreaming about the homemade four-cheese ravioli I would come home to after spending three hours making it from scratch the night before. When I finally got home and heated the ravioli, I dropped it all over my feet, giving me second degree burns. FML
Today, while cooking, I managed to burn my finger. I quickly turned the tap on and ran my finger under cold water, but apparently someone had just used the hot tap, because boiling water flooded out onto my nicely scalded finger. FML
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Top comments
FYLDeep 26
I've heard of people experiencing burning pain after spooning before.
crytorazon 0
thank you for your diversity in comments ^
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Comments (174)
andruha1123 5
fml
biohaz_fml 0
ha ha what the hell
sheslostinside 0
haha ouch
J33bus 0
i bet some mexican would love it though! dont be sad, get glad.
rlet 1
how??? i dont understand if u where using a spoon to put it on the bag.... how did the pepper got in ur hands??? either i'ts fake or you were using ur hands which is so disgusting and unsanitary
andruha1123 5
stop threadjacking, or else! argh, this anti spam scrip is really annoying
J33bus 0
add a new zest to his life
USMCwellens 0
common sense isn't so common sometimes
Lozza111 0
owie, but, why, I don't understand.... were you not using toiletpaper or were you just enjoying some unnecessary touching...
andruha1123 5
lol I must be doing something wrong, because I don't usually stick my fingers up my ass when I wipe....
lemony_fml 0
FML indeed. Hey, atleast you're not a guy...
awks 0
FYL.
cincin75 0
Do it more, u would just Love it!
FML_Leet 0
sucks to you right now
Haileyw15 0
27, do you not understand what OP is talking about?
Shokz992 0
52 - Either way, what the eff happened to the toilet paper? :/
MexRomeo 0
#3 **** u
TaylorTotsYumm 10
I love how OP's name is firecrotch.
seanreddog 4
Yeah wouldn't you be touching your ass with tp and not your hand? don't think I wanna eat pizza where op works.
seanreddog 4
Oh nevermind he prolly touched his dick. damn you people are confusing me!
seanreddog 4
Oh nevermind op is a girl I prolly loook stupid today don't I?
SarahBearXoX 0
lol sean public toilet paper is like wiping with nothing it's heaps thinner than newspaper so she may as well have been using no toilet paper
sabatical 0
public toilet paper actually FEELS like paper. :/ in other news no hot pepper touchie mmmkay?
sirfuzzitoes 0
Am I the only one who thinks op shouldve been wearing gloves while handling food? ydi for not being sanitary. I'm calling the board of health
Cinn_fml 23
So long as you wash your hands BEFORE handling food it's fine. Not to mention she was using a spoon.
iCam808 0
"fml for not staying in school and getting a better job"
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
Some people have weird tp rituals, like folding. Oils can easily tranfer to the tp pre-wipe.
Cinn_fml 23
Oh, sorry, pendatik, I momentarily forgot that soap doesn't exist outside the land of common sense...or was it spoons? I haven't been there for so long I can't remember. :P
Eyeliner_fml 0
lmfao win
toxic10uhc 0
80 toilet PAPER feels like PAPER?! no waay!!!
lemonlift 6
f ur life??? don't u mean op's?
ZleveL 0
16 your a marine?!? wow! that's what I'm gonna be when I'm old enough (2 yrs). I can't wait :D semper fi!
VraelVhalen 0
#149 Just because someone has a name doesn't make them that person (I am not saying they aren't a marine though) but good luck in the military.
CJSK8sZero 0
32-WTF wats your picture spost to be?
xshadyshadow 0
14- lol, nice.
Hamsterzilla 0
bahahha.
Litschi 0
ouch :/ fyl indeed..
legonut4 0
brings a new meaning to fire crotch
sammyprosnit 8
lol my cousin did it during the rampage vs Evans fight with jalepinos
wsa 0
most dissapointing fight ever
konniex3 0
i feel bad for yu :(
tsim14 4
how this persons retarded
Dragons_corner 6
wow i moded this and hope your ass feels better.
jaidonsafira 0
I don't think it's her ass that burns.
gasbreakdipdip 0
lol
Dragons_corner 6
lol
gooBUZZ 0
lol
bene201 0
lol
NickK49 0
rofl
crytorazon 0
thank you for your diversity in comments ^
EvilCupcake8361 9
...lol
jverdouw 0
**** that sucks. I once did that with tropical strengh bug spray. that ******* hurts.
Einstein714 0
tropical strength? lol
cheergurlxx2 0
kinda both FYL and YDI you shouldve washed your hands, but i guess you just didnt think about it first. feel better
FYLDeep 26
I've heard of people experiencing burning pain after spooning before.
FYLDeep 26
Although I'm fairly certain there was more than just spooning going on.
Sarra88 4
Haha. Your comments always make me laugh
nerdsgetmehot 23
#117 Who are you to judge? You don't even have a picture. #96 is pretty, so I honestly don't know what you're talking about.
Sarra88 4
#117 umm...k. & #118 thanks. :)
Domonator 16
Sarra88 is a hottie, face included!
w00kye 0
damn....that's a hot pussy.
vanglory 0
117 do relize u just hit on a 15 year girl (I'm guessing) that makes u a creeper
Sarra88 4
#148 15? No way! I'm 21.
Ashleexx 0
dude... how can u even see her boobs there covered, and have some fkn respect come on ,!
MrBrick 0
Pepper-oni... I'm pretty sure peppered eyes is an Italian delicasy?
iheartchapman 0
Wtff?
GEFStryker 29
Ok, lost on this one. Do you use your bare hands to wipe yourself after you use the washroom? Or were you putting in a tampon? That I could see. If you were just taking a leak or a even a crap, unless you clean yourself with your bare hands this could not have happened.
Day_Dreams 0
I was thinking the same thing.... curious
elwoods 0
This is exactly what I was thinking...
TheIrishJaneDoe 9
The tampon thing made me shudder.
pariah13 0
I'm with you guys.
MrBrick 0
and how the hell? did you spank the monkey or stick ur finger in your dumb ass? this i don't understand
Einstein714 0
I thought only men spanked the monkey, and women played with the little man in the boat