Today, I went to a local take-away and ordered a pizza. I watched the worker get my pizza out the oven, then wipe the pizza cutter on the trash bin to get rid of the last pizza's toppings, and then cut my pizza. FML
Collection
Halloween
A failed costume, stolen candy and a very real scare: Halloween, the one night when fear is allowed.
Today, I was starving and ordered pizza. They said it would take 30 minutes. When it arrived an hour later, I was so hangry, I didn’t even wait for the delivery guy to leave. I grabbed the pizza box, ripped it open, and immediately dropped it face-down onto the ground. I ended up eating a slice of cold, dirt-covered pizza like a sad, defeated animal. FML
Today, after a bad week I ordered a large pizza, ready to binge-watch TV. The delivery guy shows up, I hand him the cash, and he left without giving me my pizza. Exhausted, I watched him leave, like a confused puppy. I called the pizzeria; he'd left the pizza somewhere else, and couldn't re-deliver it because their driver was "done for the night.” FML
Today, I dropped a pizza I made. Don't worry though, I caught it between my hands and legs. I no longer have fingerprints on my right hand. FML
Today, I ordered a pizza online to be delivered to my apartment. After an hour of waiting, I called the pizza place to ask what the problem was. Apparently, the people at the apartment below me took my already paid for pizza and ate it. FML
Today, in a drunken state, I decided that it would be a good idea to shave with a pizza cutter. FML
Today, my daughter found a hair baked into the crust of her pizza. Grossed out, she put it down the garbage disposal, but I told her to dig it out so we could get a refund. After dinner, she came looking for the saved pizza crust. I was baffled about where it was until I realized I'd eaten it. FML
Today, I was trying out a new pizza recipe that I saw online. I made the dough, spread the sauce, and added my toppings. As I was about to put it in the oven, I realized I'd forgotten to preheat it. No big deal, or so I thought. I then knocked the entire fucking uncooked pizza face-first onto the kitchen floor. The dog ate better than I did tonight. FML
Today, I ordered a large stuffed crust supreme pizza for myself. When I picked it up, I asked for extra plates and napkins so the cashier wouldn't know I don't have any friends. FML
Today, while house sitting, I went to take my pizza out of the oven, not realizing that the oven mitt had a hole in it. FML
Today, I work at a pizza place and one of my jobs is to spoon crushed red pepper into bags. After I finished this, without thinking to wash my hands first, I used the bathroom. It still burns. FML
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Top comments
mwschreck 0
If you paid for it thats your own fault, I would have made them make me another.
null_fml 11
The smart thing to do here would have been to calmly open up the box, take the pizza out, and whip it behind the counter at the idiot who did that.
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Comments (80)
Flymeister 3
IIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWWWWWWWWWWWW!!!!! GROOOOSSS!!! XP
jpest17 5
I think it's not the kind of trash can u think it is maybe it was put there for that very reason?
blastvortex 4
Well, that sounds like bull (I can't see the pizzeria employees being that retarded), if it's true, you have a right to demand that they give you a new pizza or give you your money back, or else you're notifying the proper authorities (which you'll want to do anyway even if you do get your own back). They're under obligation of the contract you made with them to make the pizza as legal regulations dictate. Besides, if it's happening now, there's reason enough to believe that it probably happened before, and just might happen again. That kind of crap needs to be nicked in the bud.
sexpanther10 0
that's horrible...but unlikely. With all do respect, Either this is true and your dumb enough to take the pizza AND eat it or you just brainstormed for a fake fml and nothing came out but this hot steamy turd.
CJ090 0
Ok there's a simple solution 2 this 1. Grow a pair 2. Tell that greasy guido 2 not put his nasty pizza cutter on ur pizza 3. Tell him 2 make u another one or u will go to dominoes instead
Cerauno 0
Uh, why the hell didn't you complain about it? Tell the manager and demand they make you make a new pizza with clean utensils, or better yet, a refund. YDI if you just sat there watching it happen.
gwakamoli 0
I work at a pizzaria. Everything here is clean as ****, You could eat out of the trash bins ffs. Nothing to bitch about here.
cryofthewolf 4
I live in York too. Bet it was La Bodrum. I got a burger from there once and the bun was soaked in blood.
FJT 0
I don't see how this is a FML, you just say thanks but i saw what you did, i no longer want that pizza, and i will be complaining to WPHS! easy
laxgirl3 0
ewwwwwww